Sometimes, its hard to be a girl
Holding on to the life lessons that mommy dear showers on you
Learning to kill your wishes, early on, learning to suffocate and still breathe
Sometimes, you dream, and you hope that they will understand, and let you be free
From the bondage, the purpose of which is something you dont understand
Sometimes, its hard to be what they want you to be
An epitome of an illusion, just to feed their gigantic ego, control over your body, your thoughts and your voice
Sometimes, its hard to be a woman
Being told who to love, and how to hold that love
Proprietary, its necessary to be graceful
Self-grooming to the point of torture for the male gaze, to maintain the illusion of perfection
Yes, women breathe,they get hurt, they get hungry and fart too
Hiding behind the walls, when its “that time of the month”, when the Moon is blood red
And you are told to hide, behind your mother and the lies
Sometimes, its hard to be a woman
Giving everything you have for someone else
Living your life as if its a borrowed thing from others
Spending each day, repaying the favour
“We let you go to study…we let you follow your dreams…we were kind to you…” Until you get dizzy from disgust
Sometimes, its hard to smile and tell them its okay, that you are fine
Caring about their feelings, as if you do not really matter
Sometimes, its hard to be a mother, another word for sacrifice
Giving up everything you have for someone else’s heritage
Sacrificing your body, cutting yourself open to let another person be born after months of agony
Only to repeat the cycle of life.
Sometimes, its hard to be me, with so many resentments, so much anger
Sometimes, its just hard.
Shifa Naseer 