Solitude is Bliss


Sitting outside my tuition waiting for the teacher to arrive, I am thinking about certain things. And believe me, we should have these moments of solitude with oneself. It helps clear our mind. It gives the strength to pull another day without breaking down. But at times, solitude turns to loneliness. We don’t notice the change but it is the cause of depression, of sinking into complete darkness. Loneliness sucks on our soul while solitude moulds it.
We can never feel good when we are lonely and it is only in those times that we are the most vulnerable.
Right now I am sitting on the wall and writing but sir has arrived so I got to go.
Now at home, I am feeling the perfect bliss as I relax after studying organic chemistry and raking my brain with rules and names. Sigh!
Coming back to my discussion, I have tried both loneliness and solitude. The difference is that in loneliness, your eyes threaten to let the traitor tears come out while in solitude you are happy and a smile decorates your face. Do try it out sometimes. Its good.
Have a nice day ahead πŸ™‚

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SHE’s BACK !!!!!


Sanna Nazir Wani, my best friend, my soulmate, my buddy is back from delhi !!!! Ofcourse it’s only a visit for a few days but she’s home! I just met her and I seriously cannot believe that I saw her a few minutes before…sigh!
I really missed her these 5 months. I have never been this lonely as Sanna was always there. Now at least I got to see her. Lucky me !!!

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Childhood Fears Never Subside


No matter how hard you try to be bold, be strong but if you fear something, you always are afraid of it. No matter how much you convince yourself, it is always there lurking behind your mind, ready to pounce on you at the first opportunity. It is really out of ones control to stop fearing something, particularly childhood fears. They never go away.
In my case, I am afraid even terrified of cats. They scare the wits out of me. I am terribly afraid of them. I have had many encounters in my childhood which have lead me to develop a phobia for cats. Many people find them adorable but I find them menacing and cruel. Cats are cruel when they want to be.
My fear of cats is genuine but people around me mock me (not that I care really) and make fun of me. But it doesn’t bother me as I know how I feel and that I am not doing it for attention. I am afraid and that is it!
Why are people not ready to face the truth when it is in their faces. Instead they feel more comfortable with the lie, easier for them to believe. Easier for them to stomach it. *snort*.
The fear actually stops my heart for a moment, then I catch my breath for another moment. It takes a while to gather my senses and then I scream, scream for all I am worth. 😦
Nobody takes me seriously. They think I am acting childish. Sigh, if only they knew. It has nothing to do with the cats, its those incidents which burn a hole in my memory and it is so painful. I am afraid of anything and everything that can think for itself, cats in particular!

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Troubled


There is this one poem I wrote a few days back but surprisingly, I am not getting the end. I wrote so many but none of them seems right. I am troubled. First time ever, my poem is waiting for an end. I dont know what to do !!!!! 😦  

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Totally Awesome


image

This is CHINESE CHECKER … My childhood friend. I know its freaky but he was there during my 8th standard board exams. Sanna, do you remember him ? We used to draw him everywhere : on our notes, books, copies etc etc. He is my favourite … So many memories!!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ :). πŸ™‚

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The reason for writing “I will Burn the Ground you Walk on!”


This poem reflects violence and vengeance. Its my way of plotting an imaginary revenge to all those who hurt me in the past, who are hurting me now and who will hurt me in future. I wrote this poem to lower my anger level. Last week I was so angry at certain people for the trouble they gave me and I wanted to spit it out. So I started writing and the result is in front of you. I am not a violent person. The only violence I have shown is killing mosquitoes by spraying HIT on them while smiling in vengeance.
This poem is what I would like to do to those horribly mean people who dont care about others. I would love to chain them up and tell them where they were wrong, what they do hurts people and I would love to make them realize how mean and horrible they are.
Sadly, we cannot do that either and so I imagine my revenge through these poems. I love words! They give an identity to ideas no matter how foul or how beautiful they are.
They put to life all that is in us, giving voice to our inner thoughts. They speak while they are written. The written word is the most powerful thing and I am gald that I write, whether boring or not. But I write and it makes me feel better.

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Why I wrote on a Beggar …


Ok. Here goes. There were many reasons why I chose beggar as one of my many topics. First was that hardly anyone chooses such a topic for poetry and I don’t blame them. I decided to write on it for its uniqueness. Second was that while shopping with my mother once, I saw a beggar sitting on the amirakadal bridge exactly as I have described him. He was scratching his head, he had holes in his shoes ( I wrote in my poem that he had three but I didnt exactly count them. πŸ˜‰ Imagine his surprise!). Also, the other part of the lady in red and the old man with the smile, they are a product of my imagination. I imagined them and wrote it all. Well thats all I suppose. There was nothing spectacular idea about it. But if you read it and compare, we are somewhat beggars too but we are begging something else entirely than that poor beggar I saw on that bridge.Β Β  :).Β Β  I am sure my reasons are not what you expected but this is it. Really.

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