I took your anger, I took your resentment
I stayed quiet, let you have your way
You were cruel, you were brutal
A savage, a beast
You tore me by your words
I took it all with good grace
But today I hand it over to you
Your hate, your anger
Take back your words, take back your sorrow
I wont carry it for you
Go your own way
I am done with you, my patience ran thin
You handle yourself as I wont be insulted anymore
Go your own way
Farewell, you selfish creature.
Yes, you! Dont look around. Yes, I am talking to you only. Look at me. I know you. I know what lies in your heart. I see you. I see everything you’ve been through. Dont you dare hide from me. It will be considered a lie as I know your deepest secrets. I know what lies in those eyes, what goes on in your mind. I see you. I do.
Let me show you what you are.
Confused. You are confused. You dont know whether you are happy or sad. You are a waste. You dont live. You exist. Shame on you! You waste your existence, your life.
You run after things to see if it will give you joy. When you get that thing, you fall into abyss instead of celebrating your victory. You feel at loss. Then you turn to pursuing something else. This cycle goes on forever. You do it without realising but I know. I see it all. I see you!
You learned to smile where expected. You learned to hear without listening. You learned to look without seeing. You learned to speak less and less. You keep to yourself. You hardly notice anyone. You do not do it on purpose but you ignore everyone. You have no interest i. Socialising. You gave it up long time ago.
Somewhere you feel you are incomplete but you are so lazy, you dont think about it. You let the world use you, pressurise you. You let them guide you. You go with the flow. You dont know it. But I do. I know it all.
I see it all.
I feel sorry for you. You have no soul. You have no feelings. You are dead inside. You are done with people and the world.
If you fade, its good for you. No one will miss you.
You ask me how I know it?
I just know as I see. I see into hearts. I see into souls.
Surrounded by the dark mist
Black and bold all around
With the greenish touch to the smog it brings
From dying hearts, it springs.
Grabbing those who do not know
This shadow, this invisible foe
Gnawing at the souls, sucking life from the core.
Spreading wide, this mist, like tide
Leaving no place for the souls to hide
The feel, the setting gloom
The mist, my home, my birth
I live in it, I breathe it in
I survive it, I die in it
I exist, I do not live
I smile, I do not reflect
The aura in my soul
The aura in my body
Like a murder.
Dear People Of Srinagar,
This is my message to all of you. I am very disgusted at your thinking, perspective and outlook. I am sorry to say that your minds have taken a shortcut and are soooooooo narrow that even narrowness cannot define the intensity of the narrowness and shallowness of your minds. Let me give you a reality check : you are all a gossip. You people gossip and backbite behind your own friends which is vety disgusting and insulting. You people walk around, head held high, and say that you have modernised. Physically? Yes. Mentally? No!!
Mentally, you all have degraded to such extent that I have no words to describe how much. I feel at a loss for words to describe your shallow minds.
As its said :
Brilliant people discuss ideas
Ordinary minds discuss events
And shallow minds discuss people.
I hate to say this about my own people but you have got to improve. If you see a girl talking to a boy, why do you immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s his girlfriend? I mean do you really not trust the girls at all? He could be her brother or cousin. Or just a friend. Why do you make your own opinions, spreads rumors and make the life of the girl a living hell?
I mean why? Why do you talk and discuss other people? Why cant you stick to your own business? Why do you pester the girl? If she just wants to be friends, why do you label her as a girlfriend? Why? Why?!?!?
I am disappointed at the way things are in srinagar. This kind of behaviour hurts everyone. Everyone.
Care about other people’s feelings too. Remember that they will get hurt if you talk about them and spread rumors. Dont make yourselves such people whom no one can trust. Dont do that. It will all come back to you. One day.
Please!!! Leave everyone alone!!!
Someone once said learn from your mistakes
Yet they all did errors over and over again
Someone said to repent for your sins
Yet we all never agreed
Someone once said to love
Yet we carry hate in our hearts
Like weapons against those who love
Someone once said to forgiv
Yet we run after revenge, all cruel and pitiless
Someone once said never to give up
Yet we cry over failures again and again
Someone once said to make others your priority
Yet we all grab to satiate our lust
Never ending, never satisfying
Someone once said and only said
The words written remained forever
But we went forward and tried to be clever
Reeped our rewards with the bitter harvest
A mark of treachery over our crest.
Amazing day. Amazing Oath. Amazing sash. Amazing badge. Amazing flag. Amazing speech. Amazing audience. Amazing friends.
Amazed me !!!!!!!!
Clearing away of the dark cloud canopy
The rays of the sun, bursting through the cracks
Lighting up the world, decorating with colours
The blooming of the new buds The chirping of the birds
Calling for a change, celebrating life
Rejoicing melodies fill the fresh air
As we all welcome spring with a warm embrace
The sun peeking around the mighty mountains
All timid and shy
After the winter made it all dull and dry
All the insects and the strays
Come out of their hiding place
Smiling, giving hugs that warm up the hearts
Reuniting after the dark blanket of clouds
The magic of spring, giving life to the tiniest being
All exposed to the kiss of the sun
As love filters in, spreading warmth all around
As spring was the season when I was born.
I see the crowd, the crowd sees me
Walking, staring, pointing, talking
While I hold my head high and play my role of pretending
How much fakeness there really is ?!?
Surprised, as I see new faces everyday
Same people, different faces
All mean, all selfish
Waiting to pounce, waiting to deprive
Hiding, lying, faking, trying
As I tolerate them, all the while sighing
Weary from all the strange faces
Changing with the blink of an eye
One moment rude, another moment shy
And I put up with them. I wonder why?
Same people, new faces day to day
Deceiving me, hating me I daresay
My life, a bed of roses, you say?
So easy as breathing, so effortless
If hurting at every point of life isv what you call a bed of roses
Then I agree with you
If pain be my companion for life
Then add to the roses you see
If loss is what you think is bliss
Then add that too into your list!
If betrayal is what you call the beauty
Then be it, say that too!
Envy me for all those roses with thorns
Wish for all that you say I have
But only He knows what I am
What I have and By God
It totally isnt the red and the roses
Its way far from it
See my pain, feel my loss
Feel the betrayal, know the cause.
I am chasing a fantasy
A blur in the dark
Like a mist, untouchable
The eerie silence, mocking my failure
Like the laughter of the ghosts
The canopy of trees, trapping
Binding me to insanity
While I obsess over my fantasy
Toiling, moving, going on
My fantasy will surely leave me torn.
My vision of the future, fading in the dim light
While chasing my fantasy, my demons to fight
Intoxicating me, driving me on the edge
I feel high with craving, so intense
Is the feeling of success
I am chasing My Fantasy
While revelling in the pain, the ecstasy.
1. Indeed :
I love saying this word. Its weight and seriousness makes me feel more mature while talking. It is a very good reply to things you dont know what to reply. I mean someone says something wise, you can always go with ‘indeed’ while nodding your head and appearing to be in deep thoughts.
2. Spooky : I love this word. I dont know why but I love to say it out loud. I know its hardly ever used in normal conversations. But I love the “spooky” word.
Dont ask why but I do.
3. I Dont Know : My favourite reply. Maximum times people ask me things which I dont want to face or answer and hence IDK comes to the rescue. This line helps a lot in escaping from people’s prodding questions. I dont like long conversations and hence “i dont know”. It annoys people I know but I love it.
Hollow, empty words echo all around
Saying something no one understands
Being the best, but being the worst too
Lies, deception and farce
Fake and what not
They say, they make believe
In the end, only words.
Only words they are
Spoken without fear, without guilt
Made known time and again
Something no one wants to hear
We are all the same
With nothing in our greedy hands
Only mouths filled with wonderful words
Speeches overflowing the paper, ink dried on the white
Like little scars for all the lies
Only words in the end.
I thought you were a friend
How naiive I was to believe you
All those laughs and all those talks
All the sharing and sticking together
How I fell for it, How really you proved me wrong
You broke my trust, you shook my ship
You betrayed, you lied to me
You backstabbed, you were a fake
You are mean and you are double faced
I wont forgive you, just slam a brick in your face
There’s a hatred in my heart so deep
I wont spare you, I wont let you go
You will pay for the friendship you sold
You will reep for all the hurt you gave
I will kill you and I will slay you
I will burn you
And I wont stop until I break you.
You left without a glance at me
You promised to come back but kept me waiting
I was happy and content with you
But now my bare walls are falling apart
I decay in your absense
I stopped flourishing without your care
I hate to be deserted
People see an abandoned house
But we know I am your home
Waiting in silence, a grief too large
Waiting for my children to come to me
The garden’s off care, showing neglect
I am falling to pieces, resonating imminent death
Come back to me
So I may radiate once again
The warmth and the glow you share
The sounds of giggles, the banging of the doors
I long for that hustle and chaos
I ache due to the wounds of your loss
But I hope we unite soon
Under the bright sun, the glittering moon …
Rather limping. I am walking. Walk and type. And a slight limp in my right leg. I dunno why. No one is texting me right now and so I text my blog. 🙂
Today was a very important day. Today was my first day as the Head Girl of PCHSS and naturally I wanted to look my best. I always look my best but today I took extra care. I polished my shoes and managed to keep them dry and shiny despite the ugly rain. It was going good till I reached my chemistry tuition. Thats where my day started to go downhill. We usually take off our shoes outside the classroom. Now after the class was over and our teacher dismissed us, I went outside only to find that my shoes were missing!!!!!!!!
We searched around frantically. “We” includes my brother, my teacher, another teacher and the assistant there. If you are thinking what I was doing let me tell you that I was standing there and crying.
Yes. Yes, I do cry over these silly things. Only three things trigger my tears :
1. My Hair.
2. My Shoes
3. My Uniform.
Since my shoes which I had painstakingly polished to a shine had been stolen and I had to reach school in 15 minutes, I started crying.
The whole building started looking for my shoes. Anyways, I got angry. I started moving down the stairs barefeet.
I decided to buy a new pair of shoes on my way to school. My brother would help me with it. But to my bad luck, all shops were closed as it was quite early plus it was raining. I hate rain!!!
So my brother dropped me at school without my shoes. I took off my socks and ran barefeet in the rain on the road. My principal saw me and I told her everything. She took me to her office and made me sit there. My teacher arranged shoes for me. And it took her 45 min to do so. Till then I waited in the principal’s office.
That, my friends, was the morning. How lovely!!
I didnt have breakfast in the morning and I had duties in the lunch break. My other members of the council were nowhere to be seen ( lazy) and so I had to stand there throughout the lunch break. Hence, I didnt have lunch either.
After the school got over, my teacher took me alongwith her and we bought a new pair of shoes. After that, she dropped me to my afternoon tuition.
And from there I had to walk home!!!
I reached home, got ready and left for another tuition. Awesome!!!!!!!
And now after all this, I am sitting on my bed, typing away …
Dead. My first days never go well. Never!
I lost my shoes. I ran in the rain. I cried a lot.
Life is bliss I know