Sipping apple juice in a long, cylindrical glass with a narrow mouth, wearing baggy pants and an over-sized shirt, hair still wet from the mid-day bath I just had.
It’s the nth day of the self-quarantine I have been under and time has taken a backseat. Its as if time isn’t moving at all and yet it going way too fast without being made use of.
Life has come to a standstill. Taking a stroll has been limited to a visit to the balcony door; cheering people on, making heroes of ourselves for saving lives. #Controlthepandemic.
I cannot speak for everyone, but I can say that its a privilege that I can sit home, and still afford my meals (at least for now). Who knows what the future will bring? A recession? Loss of jobs is already on the rise (read it somewhere) and how far are we to fall before we begin building again?
Its a question of when not if. But this time, where will we end up?
I’ve always made a mockery of philosophers but now I understand where they bring their ideas from. I’ve had many ideas ever since the lockdown has begun. Many ideas are stemming from an utter lack of distraction which I consider my constant partner in life.
Distraction and denial.
But the buggers have left me alone with my thoughts this time. March (26) came and went. And I was still thinking. I am restricting myself to spare a lot of people from a lot of pain. But will anyone restrict themselves for me?
Writing has been an elusive exercise. I want to write so much and yet I don’t know where to begin. The point of this has been lost on me already.
While I’ve been wallowing in self-pity, there are many who are struggling to make ends meet. The world is a mess and I seem more organised than most. What does it say about me? Have I been selfish in my grief?
Have I been selfish in my grief, running after one thing and forgetting everything else in between? One thing that I could not get, and letting everything else slide? I’ve been luckier than most, that I survived and I moved forward if not on.
Coronavirus is like a wake-up call for all of us. We need to “Carpe Diem” this shit once the crisis dies down.
I, for one, want to travel. Travel so far and wide that I realise how little I mean in the bigger circle of life. That I am not the end of the world and not the beginning; use the word “I” a little less maybe. 😛
Now, the reason why I started this post, to begin with:
Lost in Tide
It has been easy, to breathe, but difficult to live
What is life but a whimsical tale of woe, for me, and for those who are lost
Are they lost? Or am I?
It’s an unconvincing world, with ungrateful people and a lot of heartbreak
One leads to the other, and on and on the gyre churns, I recall some poet once said
That when things fell apart, there was no one to hold the fort
We are all lost in the tide, that once rose, and took us all in.