Leap Year


It just occurred to me it’s February 29. One extra day of existing which comes once in four years.

While I appreciate the extra time I get to spend on questioning my existence, I couldn’t help but smile at the irony of this day.

If only I could, I would use this day to be more aware of who I am.

I’m inadequate, I am incomplete, I want to be more than what I can be

Leap years are special, they said, I see nothing but another day in one year. Eh. It’s all in the mind, I want to have February 29s, every day. If I could.

There isn’t much thought provoking thoughts about leap year, much is yet to be said about the extra time.

I’m still glad that it came and I would be sad that the day is ending, only because it was a Saturday.

Hands


Hands express, tell you when the words failed

Hands convey what the heart is yearning to say

Moving through air, slashing through, rapid movements, depending on the mood

On and on, they went, wordless, voiceless

Saying what was never heard and never will be

Lost to the vibrations unless you see.

Hands, lying lifeless by the side. Spent. Done saying what you didn’t want to hear

Dejected, they never woke. It was the end of the road.

Freak


I wasn’t born into this.

This is a result of constant efforts.

Cosmos working on its masterpiece.

The Sun wasn’t always so bright in your eyes.

And the Moon wasn’t so far from its silvery light

There wasn’t missing, a twinkle in your eyes.

It is all in my imagination, now that it’s a myth.

The grass wasn’t always so brown and dead.

The roots didn’t always recoil inside.

And the birds weren’t always so afraid to chirp on the tree across from the yard

Where you sat and watched.

Memories fading, you began the descent.

The fate was turning it’s wheel and your head was spinning.

A spiral, the staircase, and a bottomless pit.

I wasn’t always like this, I am a subverted image. Everything that you are afraid of

I’m the anomaly, I exist in the shadows.

I corrupt like virus, and you break like an outdated program.

Prisoner of a Broken Mind


Usually it starts with a thought and end up as a few lines on this blog.

Not much thought goes into writing. No revisits, edits or changes. It’s not worth going back.

However, it’s an important day tomorrow. It’s February 15. Once a day of joy, it’s a reminder of a loss we once suffered, the sting of which doesn’t seem to abate.

Khair.

Flowers lose their scent with time, the clouds shed the rain and move on, the day trespasses into the night and life goes on.

What doesn’t change is the horror which seems to raise its head from time to time, reminding me of the futility of all my efforts.

Life lost, altered, and became a burden, breathing slowed, more laboured, I knew death had come knocking

Panic, I stand by the door, hooded figure in mind, pushing me aside, it was not my time yet

Around, it looked and zeroed in, that one, it said. And gliding forward, took his hand in my mind and beckoned him to follow

Screams erupted around me, was it me? I couldn’t tell, there was a ringing in my ears and I did hear one last draw of breath before darkness took over.

Just like that, in my mind, my world was blank.

What would I do with career discussions to be great, a big house and a fancy car. All this faded away as soon as the darkness took centre stage.

Since then, it’s been a struggle to remember, to try and keep alive the spark that once lit my home.

A memory game, a battle already lost to time and age.

I will fight against the odds and I will remember but at what cost?

Someday, I will make peace with the absence that I feel, someday I will find that missing piece.

Every action stemmed from that empty corner which I yearned to fill with your presence but you were gone. I called but you were far away, separated by a thin veil

One which I couldn’t break, were you being held there or was it me on this side, a prisoner of my broken mind.