I Cannot Write

Holding the pen too tight
My fingers hurting due to pressure
My eyes closed as I cannot force myself
My heart wants to write
Yet my hands stay still
Cursing, I push myself and think
What’s wrong with you?
Will you just write!
End the agony, the pain.
I just never want to write the end
The end where they all die
Knowing it will happen
But being so naive, I hope
Damn this hope, damn this flame
My knuckles are white
My face is pale
My heart is racing
My mind is strained
I cannot write, I cannot fight
Throwing the pen on the table
I force myself up with all my might
I push the chair and I leave the place
Thats when I woke up in my bed, all sound and safe.

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