It is real, it is not in my head

It is not something I imagine, out of fear or loss

It is not what you say it is

It is what I feel, and if that hurts, it is real for me.

It is a bottomless pit of hope, a spiraling staircase

A never-ending tunnel, a brakeless train.

I am blindfolded, or is it the world that’s blind.




Miles and miles, the surface extends

Its water, calm and stagnant

Unmoving, unchanged

Deep below the currents move, they move to disrupt the floor

The water lashes here and there and yet on the surface


Knowing not, the onlooker praises the sight

Knowing not, its a turmoil inside

Someone is drowning somewhere, pushing, fighting, all to no avail

It’s cruel, the flowers I hold

As I watch the growing mould

By the side, water laps at the edges

Urging me on, to freedom

The currents would carry me away, Ripples are all, of you, that will stay.


Have You Looked At Me Lately?

Knowing you, I wouldn’t put it through

I know its different lives, running parallel

Intersecting at infinity

But if I may ask

Have you looked at me lately?

The bags under my eyes, the dry skin of my cheeks

The lifeless face, the sagging shoulders

How many ways do I put this to you?

Knowing you, a thousand times more

And it wouldn’t matter,

It won’t even if I beat my chest in front of you

Or dance the dance of insanity

For life is making me insane

You were supposed to be the shield to my armour

And now it’s all battered

So tell me,

Have you ever looked at me lately?

Fancy a Joke! 

Life is like a constant struggle.

Not a struggle to survive though, surviving is easy 

What the struggle really is:

You are trying to get the keys out of the bag slung across your back. The bag is facing inwards and you are carrying stuff in your hands as well. That makes the turning difficult. 

It’s raining, and you need that key to unlock the door so you could escape the rain. 

You cannot reach the bag’s chain.

After much struggle, you manage to open the chain and pull out the key, only the key got stuck in a loose thread on your shirt. 

Yanking it free, and tearing the shirt in the process, you turn the key and unlock the door. 

Finally, you reach the landing and have another door to unlock. 

The rain obstacle isn’t there anymore but what is interesting to note that the key to the  second door is missing from the bunch.

Sudden panic and rewinding your actions and the places where you could’ve dropped it. 

Finally, breathing in deeply, you put the load down and go through the bag from which you struggled so hard to take out the key. 

Voila, after some painfully, hopeless moments, you find the key which had come loose from the bunch and unlock the door.

Second obstacle taken care of. 

And the out of the blue, your paper bag in which there is a lot of stuff decides to have a mind of its own and tears apart. 

Out of nowhere. 

Things roll down the stairs as you try to catch them all. 

And that my friends is what life really is. 

A dance to catch things before they fall. 

A juggle, a circus, a joke. 

It Comes And Goes

Birthday is like a stomach ache

It comes and goes, in little pangs

It turns sour the day before, the sun sets too low

Bed seems more inviting, and people seem like dream devils

Chasing you with false smiles, down the dark corridors of the aging line

Reminding of the life passing by, celebrating death, one day at a time

When its about to come, euphoria rises

And its 12, and past 12 and you feel nothing

You sink, deep down into you

Hoping the day would pass soon

It comes and goes every year, it’s the same story, the same post

Going over and over, feeling the pangs, feeling the life force in you

It’s tiring, its birthday, celebrate your mother’s pain

Your journey ending, your soul fading.

So let’s celebrate death today, for its constant

Life is nothing but a fuss.

Loss Is Your Second Name

Not trying to be mean, or ungrateful

But know this, that every year the day comes 

I feel special, as I believe its my day and yet 

The air is always bittersweet 

It has always been

That another year has passed, another moment lost

That I have to fight, fight, and fight 

Against all odds, for I don’t have you to cushion my fall

Every year, the day of happiness brings me sorrow 

I don’t mean to be ungrateful but it’s moments like these 

That I know, that I don’t run away from 

That I miss you to the core of my being 

Your voice, your smile, your style of writing. 

My name, calling me out even in darkest of times. 

It’s my birthday coming dad, and I miss you. And yet again I have to make peace with the fact that another year of struggle lies ahead and with your seat empty, it won’t be easy. 

A battle with my head, smiles wiping away the pain,

And now I know that loss is your second name.  

You’re All I Know 

Death will come to all, one day

But till then, if I may, would you kindly by my side, stay?

You are what I know, love is what I know

I stand on the pedestal, a little too high 

But please join me, would don’t you?

I am at peace when it’s just us 

See hope, where I used to see dust 

It’s not me, it’s you. 

All you. The aura of my being, the kindness in me 

Hope is what you give, one step at a time

Don’t you get it, I need you by my side 

A little high up the pedestal, away from prying eyes

Joyful ride, long smiles, popcorn, and fries 

That’s what I know, you’re all I know.