Wiped Clean

Where do I begin, where do I begin to tell you my story

I was more than just a blog, I was more than words

I had a smile, and a sparkle in my eyes

I had love, I had patience to love and I would forgive

And then all was wiped clean, something went wrong

Like pulling a plug

All I want is to escape, to escape to a fairy land where I can be me

I won’t have a burden on my chest, where people won’t leave me.

Not a victim but a survivor, I have many stories to share in my brief lifetime

The only one that a recall is a teary eyed girl typing away on a white screen.

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Waning of the Moon

The day you left, a part of me died

You didn’t take any part of me in your memories, I know

But some I gave you, those will never return.

The death took a toll on me, I broke in half

Like the waning of the Moon, the darkness descended slowly

After you left, it was a night, gradually turning into a nightmare

One I had hoped I would never live to see.

Live I did, survive I did.

What fate had for me, I took it and I took to my face.

Not enough

In my dreams, I see you and things are okay.

Tell me someday, when you get time, that you were gone even before I had known

That love cannot be enough to hold people down.

Cracked

I am tired of mourning the past, now that I recall, you did warn me that things wouldn’t last

I was naive, I should’ve known that time will play it’s trick and you’ll be gone.

I would pick up the pieces left behind, puncture my fingers and let them bleed

And watch myself as the world turns red, in your absence.

It stings, it’s cold, it is everything I had hoped

You deserve a proper farewell, with pain in my eyes and scraps in my hands

Holding what is left of the past, a ghost town of memories

Abandoned by my will, left by my resolve

Nothing was worth the pain, it was all a lie. Nothing could convince me that there was a world going by

I was a universe in myself had you seen

I was enough for both of us, if only you knew

But time is gone, the mirror has cracked. I sit wondering if it ever will go back.

Little things matter

Little things matter

From a reckless smile to unconditional strangeness

Wasting time, thinking of you in little spaces

In my mind, I repeat. Little things matter.

No wonder you left, I was so boring.

Who wanted boring when life was on a silver platter

Who wanted distance when life was knocking at the door.

I was so boring, I put my conscience to sleep.

But little things matter. I keep reminding myself. Things that are close to me, reminders of something, someone

Miles between us will not reduce the affection, the love and now a tinge of bitterness

A perfect recipe for heartburn.

But little things matter.

A start

Yesterday I found your photo in one of my dairies

It was a brief pause between collecting my things

The photo wasn’t mine and neither did it belong to me anymore

From a distant time, another me had a photo similar

I threw it out, and I felt lighter.

I still am left with the burden of your memories, of the time spent together. And yet yesterday was a move.

It was a start.

Loving you

They are making if difficult to love you, they’re telling me I don’t belong.

They push me into the broom cupboard and refuse me meals.

They say I have done wrong to you. But what did I do?

I love you, I am yours and yet I am denied the right to even breathe where I belong

They took everything away from me and expect me to smile. They beat me up when I cry in pain.

They are making it difficult to love you, you do not defend me either.

You do not tell them to stop. You know me.

Don’t you?