Like a wake up call, as you drift with the current
The current is strong as you hear the calling
You seem in a daze, you don’t want to wake up
Limbs weighing you down, the heart almost has given up
Any beat might be your last, as you gather strength to let go
The clouds move away and you see the rainbow
Hope crosses your thoughts, working as a reminder
Dont tell me how heroic you are
Tell me of the sacrifices you made
Dont boast of your strengths to me
Tell me, instead, of the things you let go
Tell me about the pain, the sting
Of all that you hold dear, lost.
Its been six years today.
Six years of endless mourning.
Sometimes, I think maybe I give too much importance to myself by writing here about everything wrong in my life. I have been told I am too much involved in myself. Maybe they are right. But they are not in my shoes. They dont have to live with the gross reality of a missing part of life. Its easy to criticise and comment. Its easy to chastise. Its not easy to live with your reality and smile through the day like you dont care.
We will always disappoint people. We will always make them feel we are self centred. But then everyone is. Even the people who point and taunt.
I am not arrogant of my sorrows. Who would be?
If I desire solitude, no one has the right to judge me. Its my freedom to choose society or tell them to fuck off. I will not apologise for the language. Its that time of the year when I feel the unfairness of fate in full measure.
I pledged that I will live my life for me as no matter what no one is happy with your conduct anyway. No one deserves to be at your side.
People are bullies who try to blackmail you, try to make you submit to their will. And you dont realise it. It saps you of your own choices.
I have derailed from my original intent of writing this post. But, its been on my mind for quite a while and I needed to let it out. Its that time of the year.
Busy minds find no peace
Run haywire in the breeze
Thoughts flooding the soul
Fight with the conscience, fight for release
Carry the load, let me carry the light
To light up your way, as you carry the load
I am here to ease the pain, to bear it with you
This thing called life, a struggle to the end
A myth, I stand, in your mind’s eye
You are alone, on the edge of the parched land
A companion you seek, only betrayal is felt
But no matter, seek again, your oasis
Its night, its dark
Carry your light as you go
I may not lead but I will always follow.
Light brown, worn with use
Teapot stood, in its majestic grace
On the bottomshelf, frequently made to pour tea
The handle, the body, the spout
All showing signs of age.
Oh and yes, it was my birthday on 18th April.
Just marking another milestone
I have come far and made myself proud.
21 years. Quite a life so far.