My blog is my own kingdom and words are my subjects
They said it will pass, that it will be okay
Its a phase, they said,
I listened, I waited, I hoped, I dreamt
For it to pass away but did it?
No.
The phase stayed, it stayed like a lazy cat
Purring by my side, eroding my mind, infiltrating my senses
It was a phase which was here to stay.
I write and I write and I write and I write
As people keeping dying and dying some more
It doesn’t make a difference anymore, I don’t feel okay
Words and catharsis have long given up on me
Its all pointless, this life in a box
I want to go home, but where is home?
They are selling it, the last I heard
Gathering dust, that house
Fading wallpapers, ones I chose so lovingly
Fading memories, on sale now.
But its all fine, I have creepy titles for my dank poetry
To make me feel better, that life is sunny again
And so I write, I type, I puke it out
And they think its art.
Taking strength from your words, the courage from your voice
Its all very well until you stopped altogether
Losing out on hope, losing out on life
I wonder if you ran out of words or the words ran out of you
Its all so messed up, this world, maybe it wasn’t for you after all.
You died, you killed yourself but
Millions died with you, those you held up with the power of your thoughts
Its all lost now, its all gone.
“In the end, it doesn’t even matter.”
I suffer
In my thoughts, through my feelings
My emotions, the complexity of of the grey cloud over my head
No silver lining
I suffer through them all.
It rains but I do not get wet, I stay dry
Parched in the rainy season
Such is my suffering. The world moves and I move with it,
Yet I remain where I was, in a loop
Chasing my tail, chasing my shadow
I suffer, for I do not reach where I intend to be
My destiny is blank, my fate has no plan
I drift through life and hence I suffer.
Dont you see? Do you ever feel it?
I suffer. Why dont you see my suffering,
I cry out, I suffer, and I cry out louder
I suffer, I suffer, I suffer
I suffer, I struggle to stay afloat
Its not a part, it is my life.
I suffer and I suffer some more.
Its just suffering, is it?
if it is so, then be it,
Let me suffer, watch me suffer
Till meaning is drained from my sufferings
Till then I suffer.
Its been ages, I did not lift a finger
Fingers now numb, complain of pain
I hold my hands in light and see the lines
I am old.
Where did the time go? It flew like the birds in the sky
A distant speck in the vast blue
The emptiness of my room, reflecting the hollowness of life
The pointlessness of it all.
Why stay alive when you know you are dying?
The lines are deepening, skin fading to wrinkles
Cutting edges where I can, smoothening it out
The more I untangle, the more it tangles me.
Its a loop, my edges are sharp
Cutting myself, cutting you out
Its life, ladies and gentlemen, for you, on a silver platter.
I will take you there someday, where they make pizzas that I crave.
It will be our first date
You and I, sharing a pizza at the pizza place
Would you come on time?
I don’t want you to be late.
I hope you wear your funny hat, It suits your face.
I am here but why aren’t you at the pizza place?!
My coat is a little too tight but that’s okay
It would be better if you just came
The pizza is getting cold and I have not had a bite
The cheese will be rubber, the bread hard
Toppings will be dry and then so will I!
You are not coming and my pizza is cold
Why do you not do as you are told!
The sun is set and its a perfect setting.
My head is dizzy, my heart is breaking!
The pizza is cold, the waiter impatient
I will just pay him and walk away
Its night and unlike you, I don’t like being late.
I know if I leave now, I won’t come back
But you are crazy enough to always make me turn
It’s not you, your shadow
Silent, breeze by my window
You are crazy enough to wait for me
Even if I make you wait for ever
When you see me, you smile
But I swear I burn inside
It’s crazy but it is what it is
Your shadow haunts me
So when you call, I turn and return to our chamber of white lies
