Funny. My mood swings. Active all the time. I dont know what to say.
Since I cannot sleep, I would like to use my blog to express what I feel. I feel … Happy/sad. Reminds me of a song :

Something in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself, makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms. Theres something in your voice makes my heart beat fast. Hope this feeling lasts rest of my life. If you knew how happy you are making me and how long I’ve waited for your touch!!
It feels like home to me, feels like home to me, feels like I’m all the way back where I come from.

I like this song. A lot !
I dont know why I typed it. I just did. 🙂
The world is at my feet tonight and I feel on top of it.
The love there is, the feel of nature
So close, so near to me
Purer than white, lovelier than life
Family love and life together we live
Forever together, always!

Smooth Patches Along The Rough Road


Honestly speaking, I love a handful of people who are in my life. They make me feel better. Sanna and Madeeha, thanks chaddi buddies for being there.
Madee, I am sorry I attacked you with water but you were feeling very hot and this was the least I could do. 😉
I love you more for that chips you got for me. Thank you!
Thanks for dropping by and making me feel that I am not alone after all. Being with you, I can.laugh at my troubles like they are pebbles. You made it easier. Thanks. And I promise I will be there for you, always. I wont run away because of my insecurities. Never.
Thanks for making my day. Thank you.
Loads of Love

Its Just You


In the end, its just you
The world will say, they are with you
Your family will say they are there for you
Your friends will pledge never to leave your side
Your love will promise to always hold you
Yet at the time of need, you will be with you
No one by your side,
No one to watch your back
In the end, its just you
In the end, you will be brave
You will be your own hero, you’ll be your own savior.
You will find your solution, you will find your way
As you are your own kin, you are your own
No one is with you, you are alone

My Happy Place 2


I once saw a dream, a dream I wish could come true. I was there where we all want to be. A place of pure divinity. A world of my wishes. A place where I could smile without being conscious.

That place was something in itself. I could feel my inner peace which had long since been forgotten. The grass was greener than the green. The sky was an awesome shade of blue and so serene. The birds were flying up in the sky without the fear of being shot. The animals were running wild after being caged for so long. The flowers bloomed to their fullest, shone with the brightest of color. The eye pleasing rivers flowed pure, without impurity or dirt. I could see the edges being smoothened by the running water. There was no bridge over it, thats what made it all the more fresh. The fishes in it, ah! They were so happy for no one was there to fish them. I was the only one there to enjoy the world of peace. I could smile without being watched from the corner of the eye. I could dance without  being laughed at. I could just be me for there was no one to comment. I want it more than anything and I know no such place exists.

My Happy Place


Beautiful-nature-green-road-wallpaper

I have a wish. I wish which I wish from the depths of my heart. A wish which we all wish at some point in our lives. My wish is to live a life away from others. A place of solitude, of sanctity. A place which belonged to me alone where I could appreciate the nature of who I am and what surrounds me. A place where there are open grounds covered with grass greener than the green and wide seas with clear blue water stretching out to the horizon forever. The flowers with their colors so bright that one might fall in love with them. I would love to touch the flowers but never pick them! I would love to see the birds take flight and fly with such grace which would put many to shame. Then my eyes would turn to the sky. The sky reflecting the pure blue with an intensity that makes the eyes blink again and again. The sun with its shiny body, warming the world with its golden glow, high up in the sky. I would lay on the green grass facing the sky, letting the sunlight warm me up from head to toe, driving away the chills that have taken a permanent place in my heart and soul. The river would be flowing by my side and I would enjoy the gushing sound of the pure water. it would soothe my nerves which were on the edge for God knows how long. Then would come the night when the stars would show me various constellations so that I may enjoy the night sky. The black canopy decorated by the stars. Ah! that would be a sight to behold. To sleep beneath the wonderful world, a world where I would be all alone, no one to fear and no one to hide from. I would be just me, in my most simplest form. I would laugh without hesitation. I would smile my most genuine smile, just because I want to and not because I dont want people to know I am sad. There would be no one to talk to, no malicious people around, no conspiracy. Just me!

That is my wish which I want to be true. Dont you?

What I was


I was a soap bubble, all smooth and soft 

Transparent on either side, the air holding me aloft 

I was into myself, the world was me 

I held no one, no one held me

I was open and I was free,

I was as vast and as deep as the open sea

I was the bright blue sky, I was the true blue 

I had it in me, the shine and glitter, all true.

 

I was that green garden where flowers held mass 

Singing lullabies, a dance gathering

I was the tree in that garden, I was a flower 

I was all the green grass blades and I was the wild bush

I was the bee, chasing you 

I was the foliage, shading you 

 

But now that I lost what I was 

You gave me an escape

You let me out through the back door

You saved me from the destruction which was in store

The blue sky, the green grass

The mighty sun, the shiny stars 

 No one is mine, for all is lost 

I am lost and out the back door 

Away from everything, off to find another shore.

My Black Sails


Sailing through the calm waters
My white sails high up in the sky
Wading through the open sea, blue laid out to conquer, to defeat
I, with all my strength and all my will, set forth into the vastness
With a mind set to conquer to blue waters with its depths
The white sails all magnificent, all majestic
Reflecting against the bright sun, the light, the scattered clouds!
Journey began, trouble began
Got wary, the ship set low
All the chambers and the deck
Spread the gloom, of loneliness
I prayed and I hoped and I believed
That I will have my touch of destiny
But the sand was filling fast and I was lost
Looking up, the black clouds crowded around
Making my sails black!
They were black and they were dead
Dead to me, dead to my orders
My ship sinking, my heart throbbing
The weight of failure, a burden to carry.

Fall


There comes a time where you feel all alone
In despair and totally forlorn
You feel He deserted you, left you
You sense abandonment in each step that you take
Vulnerability becomes your forte
You tremble, you shiver, you quiver with fear
You tend to falter in your steps
Unsure of where to go
You head out into the unknown with defeat clear in your eyes
Downtrodden as you realise your feat
There is no blue sky above and no green grass beneath
Holding back the tears of shame
Facing ridicule, facing negative fame
Totally demoralised as I hear the taunts
I still hold my head high
I still carry my near extinguished flame.

The Flowers And The Tree


In the early hours of the morning, three flowers in the garden, were talking together, whispering with heads bent forward, unaware of me watching them with interest. Just before dawn, the lukewarm light made the white petals seem to me like a paradise of my own. The three flowers with their conspiracy, heads bent forward, seemed to realise the dawn was due and so they straightened and opened their wing-like petals to welcome the warm sun after the chilly night of the spring. The dew gave them a gentle bath to get ready for the sun. The sun rejoiced to see the gesture and turned his full light on those flowers. The flowers moved with the morning breeze, jostling in the gentle caress. All looked peaceful, all was serene. The flowers faced the sun and absorbed the light. The light danced along the colors of the petals. The green grass beneath, so lush, so bare, so pure. I smiled and turned my face to the sun and breathed deeply while stretching my arms wide as if hugging the scene of pure tranquility.
Somewhere behind me, a laughter rang so deep that I turned my head with curiousity. A child of not more than 5, was running towards me in full speed. He was plucking out the flowers with each hand as he ran. I could hear his laughter as he took pleasure in marring the beauty of nature. Between his laughs, I heard the small shreiks and screams in bursts and echoes. Those, I suspected, were the screams and pleas of the gentle flowers. Oh how cruel really is mankind. Even at the most innocent stage, they are so ruthless. I watched him till he reached my roots. He gazed at the three flowers which I had grown fond of. I saw his expression change to one of pure evil. I sensed what he had in mind. I tried to shout to stop him but I was bound and so with pain in my heart, I saw him pluck the flowers from the stem.
It was a murder. A lifetime of pain for me to witness this slaughter. I saw him run along to rampage through the garden. Then I looked down and saw the empty stem where once my three flowers gleamed and glowed.
Suddenly the sun was too bright, the garden became a graveyard. I wept for them. I missed them. They were gone, never to sway in the wind, rejoice with the sun, bathe in the dew. I was left all alone to myself, with bitter reminders.
I was meant to see, to witness. For I am the tree.

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Pain Of Separation


Trying to remember the details, your face
I just cannot as I am in a daze
I miss you more than words can say
I say all this with my emotions at bay
A turbulence through me for it is too much to bear
The pain of your separation, the feeling of loss
No one is there to understand
All offer words of sympathy but dont they see?
I am wounded and ripped
I ache for your support dad
I long for your hug
I want you back but death is so mean
Took you from me, without warning, totally unseen
I hate myself for hurting so
A gaping hole of your loss!
No one gets it no matter how much I say
I miss you dad, and I want you back!

Shifa Naseer

One Story


This is the story of The Story of which no one has ever heard of. A story burried deep in legends and myths that no one knows the original version any more. It all started with two men carrying one story, shared between them, while on their journey.

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Long, long ago, there lived two men. Men of power, men of wisdom, men of knowledge. They were handed over nothing but mere words. A few words which would shape the destiny of man. Words spun into a Story. A story which could never be sold; effective if hidden and disastrous if told. Setting out from the West, the men moved on.

Two men with two different paths, two visions, two directions, two perspectives, two different lives, carried that One Story within their hearts, a secret between them. In companionable silence, the men journeyed on, travelled far. No one knew their secret. The story was safe.

No sooner than a course of few weeks, did the men falter in their steps.Their companionship had run its course. It had faded and so they parted. Each promised the other to see their task through till the end.

It was a Farewell.

One wanted fame and so he set off on a third path. Not knowing the path was evil, of temptation. Turned rogue with desire, he sold the story. But he spun it differently, a little editing on his part for he had guilt in his heart. A guilt which made him lie, made him alter the story so high that he managed to cover it up. But he had succumbed, had betrayed the ancient oath, had let his guard down, had failed his companion. And so his soul was restless. Meanwhile the story spread on, mixed with lies as a disguise.

The other man chose his own path and walked on, choosing no curves or inviting bends. He kept his head clear and his conscience strong. Somewhere along the road, he was captured. The Story being leaked, they all knew he was the other who carried it along and wasnt a corrupt yet. His heart was true and faithful to the oath and he knew the story without any alterations. Held hostage, he got to know what his companion had done and he cried for his lost loyalty. He was forced to give the story but he too altered it for it was too dangerous to expose the real words. To maintain the sanctity of  The Story, he lied and gave a different version. But the kidnappers were no noble men. They pried the story from him and slit his throat. Poor man died for his oath.

Years passed and the two stories of the two men were made two legends. The legends turned to myths and myths got old. The Story, the original words were buried deep beneath the lies. It was safe.

The one who betrayed was later poisoned while the other had already been murdered. The two men met with two fates while journeying along two paths with two perspectives of one story.

Father’s Day


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I didnt want to post about it but since I posted for mom, I think its only fair that I post about dad too.
Its Father’s Day today and hardly anyone remembers this day. Please wish your dads today. Tell them how special they are. Thank them for being there for you. Praise them for being the backbone of your family. Encourage them by showing your gratitude. Surprise them today for it is their day: the Father’s Day.
Thank you dad for all the years we had together
Thank you for doting on me and making me feel like a princess
Thank you for covering up for me when mom was in one of her tempers
Thank you for allowing me to eat stuff I wasnt allowed, behind mom’s back
Thank you for hiding my mistakes and making me learn from them
Thank you for standing up for me when I felt alone
Thank you for devoting even the last breathe to me
Thank you for your selfless love for me
I will remember you even if your memories fade
I will always remember you, even when I grow old
Always.

To you, Dearest Dad

So far from me, a place I cannot reach
You dwell in such a place where I cannot be
I wish you were here, I wish you were near
No matter how much I hope or pray
You wont come and I know there’s no way
I know you love me and I love you more, dad.
But, at times, when I need you
I feel your absense
Like today, for it is your day
I miss you this day for we  celebrate fathers day
I recall the previous years, the blissful days
Your loving smile, your warm hug and your pat on my head
With pain in my heart, the sting of those memories
I miss you more and I wish you were here.
With me, by my side
Always holding my hand,  through the desert of white sand.

Shifa Naseer

Weird


I feel weird. Dementor effect, you could say. I … Cannot explain it. I dont know. Really. I dont know what to talk. Or say. I seem to be tangled in my own emotions which I cannot comprehend. I dont know where I hold my ground. I feel wobbly. As if I have no place to be. No one to stand by me. Theres an echo of my screams which is not a shreik as I dont really scream. I bottle up. I keep it in. All of it. Thats the culprit I suppose. Lost …. To everything.

Shifa Naseer

I Am An Optimist


Where others see dark, I see the light

Where they see wrong, I see the right

When they feel alone, I will be the guide

When they feel sad, I will rekindle the joy

I am hopeful, I am an optimist.

I will be your harbor, I will give you the strength to fight.

You wont be alone, I will stand by your side

You wont feel troubled, I will smoothen out your way somehow, someway

I am here, forever with you, in the background, like a tune

I am your heart, and I am not logical

I see only what makes you feel good
I dont care if its a false or untrue

For I am hopeful, I am your optimist
Beating with a rhythm to make you go on

Shifa Naseer

The Tale Of Three Brothers 3/4


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Cadmus Peverell

Cadmus, the second Peverell, a man naive enough
Had once loved a girl
A beauty very famous in his county
Was on the brink of marrying her
But before that, Death had claimed her
Turned bitter, he had gone mad with grief
Without her he had no life, no relief
Being in possession of the resurrection stone
A gift from death itself!
He wanted her back and so he set off
He travelled back to his home, where he turned the stone thrice in his hand
And Lo! There she was, in her elegance and beauty
His heart leaped with joy and he rejoiced!
He had got back his beloved, his bride!
But something was not quite right
He wanted to touch her, wanted to feel her
To know she was real
But she seemed sad and cold
And no matter how much he tried to touch, to hold
It wasnt enough
For days he watched her, for nights he longed for her
Driven mad with hopeless longing, killed himself
So as to truly join his love!
Then came the Death with his wicked smile
More sinister than the most
Proved that he was more cunning
As evil as ever, took the second brother for his own!

Shifa Naseer

Story Of The Shining Stars


After a day’s worth of waiting
As the dusk seeped through the magnificence of the sun
Setting it low on the horizon
Those shiny dots come out to display
Their beauty, their charm and purity
The virgin starlight so mesmerising
Bathing the world in its dim silvery glow
They play hide and seek with the cloud canopy whole night
Dancing in and out of the earthlings’ sight
A compliment to the black velvety night
The stars shine against it, drowning the black beauty
Outshining all under the mother moon
They bid their time through the day
While reflect their joy on the world as we lay
As the dawn arrives, these dots scuttle away
Out of sight, dissolve into the sun’s might
The stars await the dusk, to unleash
Their power and glow
To once again form the reassurance during the night
That stars are watching over us, shining mighty and bright.

Shifa Naseer

Pushing To The Extreme


You test my patience, you demand so much
You say that you care, yet you hurt like no other
You push me over the edge
Drive me insane from your crazy ways
You are rude and you are blunt
No matter how much I try to keep my cool
You barge in and shatter everything
Your words are crude, like broken shards of a glass
I tread on them,
They sting and they hurt
You push me to extremes
You test me now and again
I will break and let go
Your distress will know no end
When you wont find me there
You will suffer as I disappear
Then cry all you like, plead for me
I wont look back, wont consider your plea
I will do all and I will do it more
I will run away, I will dive off the edge
Out of reach, away from you.

Shifa Naseer

You Are In Me


In a place where I know I belong
To you, and to the world beyond
I found you, hidden in the unforeseen
Battling for life, battling for me
My smile lits up my face,
From forlorn to a majestic grace
Damaged and ripped soul of mine
Was healed by your one glance
Flicker of hope in my heart, thump thump as it went along
Picking up rhythm as I sprinted forward
To you, to my final place where I belong
I see you!
Yes! Yes, I know you!
You are a part of me, You are in me!
As I pull you to me
I joined my heart with you
And the world stopped existing for me
Sacred reunion, forever together
A welcoming force, a reuniting gesture
You are in my soul, yes you are in me
Finding you in the place I belong
A magical fort, a princess world
My world at your feet
For I am yours and you are in me.

Shifa Naseer

The Tale Of Three Brothers 2/4


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Antioch Peverell

Antioch, the first Peverell, Master of the Elder Wand
A man filled with the lust to empower, to defeat
Travelled far, savouring the power, the leash!
He, who favored revenge and deceit,
Sought out the one with whom he had a tiff
Battled with him, as fierce as the wind on a high cliff
With Elder Wand as a weapon, he won the duel and slayed him
Later boasted of his victory, while drunk with power and gin
He went to some local Inn 
Revealed the secret of his wand,
As he wanted to be flattered and fawned
Ah! Such a silly mistake, a foolish deed!
Proved to be unworthy of his wand, indeed!
The same night, at midnight
As he lay, drunk and dead to the world
Some thief stole his wand and slit his throat!
And so the Death, with its wicked smile
Rubbing his hands together in sheer spite
Took the first brother for his own
As it was foretold and had ever since been known!

Shifa Naseer

The Tale Of Three Brothers 1/4


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Once it happened that three wizards
Brothers by blood, were journeying along a narrow, winding road
At twilight.
Each was a warrior, a fearless Peverell
Pride of their clan, their kin!
Found a dark river, so deep in its depths
That it reeked of death!
Skilled in the magical arts, 
They simply waved their wands, and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water.
Death was thwarted by them
And so the cunning Death with his pride
Set a trap and hailed them aside
Offered them tokens of their victory over him
Asked them to wish and it would be granted
Greed and lust are never far from a human heart
And so The brothers made their wishes.

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The first Peverell, being combative, asked for an unbeatable wand
A wand which had no equal
And was worthy of a wizard who conquered death!
Death fashioned a wand from the branch of an elder tree
And presented to him. 
That was the Elder Wand.
The second Peverell, wanted to mock death further
And asked for a way to resurrect the dead
Death picked up a stone lying nearby and handed it over with good grace.
That was the resurrection stone.
The third Peverell, being wiser than the others
Felt death’s conspiracy and made his wish more wisely
He asked Death to give him something which would enable him to leave 
And that death should never find him again!
Reluctantly, death handed him his own cloak of invisibility!

Satisfied, the Peverells went forth with their prizes!
Unaware of the sinister plan Death had plotted against them.
Each went his own way, to seek their destiny and fate
While the Death lurked in the shadows to wait.

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(Continued)

Shifa Naseer

Aphrodite’s Three Apples 2


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Apples

So the day of the race arrived
Flocks of people, so much hustle
Excitment on the peak as he got ready.
Atalanta in her furious speed and and he was humble Hippomenes
Her eyes were mocking and wide
Rediculing him with her pride
As the race began, all hailed him
She ran with the wind and he struggled to cope
With each passing minute, he threw the rosy red apples
Into the fields around
Each made Atalanta chase the red
Each passing moment, Atalanta fell behind
Each victorious minute, Hippomenes felt his destiny near
With the final throw of the apple
And the burst of speed, Hippomenes made way for his deeds
Won the race and took her for his own
For the magic of the three apples glittered and shone
Praised Aphrodite and raised to her glory
For he found his love
And married his maiden.

Shifa Naseer

Aphrodite’s Three Apples 1


The beautiful Atalanta, unwedded and untamed
A beauty many since long wanted to possess
Her grace and her face
Charmed the whole Greece to waste
Aahh, she whooshed past like the light
Stopping nowhere in her chase
Showing off her strength, she ran
For her suitors, she was the one!
And praised her and offered her love
But vain with her beauty and speed, she declined all!
For it was no idle tale that she always won
Always outran all those who raced against her

Hippomenes, who hopelessly fell for her, wanted her as his wife
Knowing she wouldnt agree, he seeked The Aphrodite
“O dearest! Help me here! For I lost my heart to the fair maiden
She wont look at me for I dont run fast
I am under her spell! She has bound me so!
Help me, my fair lady!”

The young man’s plea, so earnest it seemed
Aphrodite decided to help him seek his bride
She gave him three red apples from a tree
And told him to use them during the race
So happily trotted Hippomenes to race with her grace!

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Apples

Shifa Naseer

When I Was A Child


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When I was a child
The sky looked so blue and bright
The moon mesmerising and magnificent
The stars twinkled and winked all night
A watchful eye, drove away the fright
When I was a child.

When I was a child
The chirping of the birds and the buzzing busy bees
Was like music, so beautiful, so serene
The dogs seemed scary and the cats malicious
The butterflies felt like friends
And all the bugs annoyed me to no end
When I was a child.

When I was a child
Mother’s lullaby and father’s life  lessons
Were a treasure to carry forever
Brother’s teasing and fights
Made memories all the more funny and light
Love for the family, love for the friends swelled my heart like a big balloon
When I was a child.

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When I was that child
The world was beautiful
It was the fairyland of my bedtime stories
It was all I ever knew it was
My sanctuary, my happy place
When I was that child.

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Now that I grew up
The ugliness leaked out
The dark patches came to light
The hidden stories revealed
It shocked me to see the fairies were wicked
And the magic was false
No sanctuary was ever found, all seemed lost.

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My love, my peace, my hope
All was untrue, all in waste
The ugly nightmares raised their heads
And I shrunk with fear
The fear of the black shawdows and demons
And I realised I never wanted to grow up
Never wanted a part of this world
And I wished I was back in my fairy land
When I was a child.

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Shifa Naseer

Hard To Leave


For all that I gave, all that you took
For all my wishes, for all that I toiled
I found a link so deep, a connecting beam so bright
That I found it hard to diverge
So exotic were the colors that my heart shone
Fluttering heart, with all the thumping
I couldnt bring myself to leave it all behind
Why was it that I found it all now?
Why couldnt I just say goodbye?
Why do I feel the loss of what I never had?
Hard to leave what I now saw
What I sensed, what I felt
The pull, the intense gravity of it
The mere torturous light, the setting so unreal
That I found it hard to leave
To say goodbye
To end the dream with a bitter sigh
Unable to stay, hard to leave
As it wove its magic into me

Shifa Naseer