Disappointment

Disappointment is my friend these days
It has been keeping me company
Never leaves me alone
It threatens me if I ask it to go away
Time is my enemy these days
It mocks me
By making me remember and realize
The many losses of my big loss
It shows me how much I have lost
How much I am losing
And how much I still have to lose!
All this makes me sad
Disappointment colours my heart
I am afraid of my memories
They are so painful
A reminder of the life I once had
It wasn’t a bed of roses
But better than now
Those were the glory days
Before I fell on my face!
A time before I lost everything I used to own
Even before I was left alone!
Pretension has become a part of me
It helps me to hide behind a mask of smiles
I no longer recognise myself
I am lost in my troubles
I shout, I cry but nobody hears me
I plead for release
Just for a little bit of ease.