Relishing The Pain

I have enough and still I want more
Not happiness but some pain I would desire
To rip me apart from every possible way
To raze me to ash, to push me to limits
I relish in the pain I am subjected to
So break my heart and leave me to suffer
Leave me alone in the darkness of my night
Over the dense canopy of the melancholic clouds
Break my heart by being mean to me
So I can cherish the pain, the sadness that I feel
I want to lose and never regain
My hope and my ways to gain peace
Be the storm and blow away my castle of cards
Be the rain and run down my harvest
Destroy everything I ever made
So I can relish in my pain.