Well, everyone expects me to be all giddy and happy about Eid. Sure, Ramadhan is at an end and we can eat in the daylight and blah blah, what I really cant stomach is the fact that bysa papa is not here with me on this Eid. It is like the same thing only 5 years later. I felt crappy about Eid after papa died and now the same feeling only magnified. How can I wish everyone when I feel terrible, when I want to rip my heart out of my chest and cry out loud. There is so much anger inside me that I may explode and yet here I am, alive, writing and whining away on my blog as usual. Nothing seems to change. Its like a cycle. The earth completes its own and so do I.