We’re in the middle of a pandemic. We’ve already lost over 500,000 lives and still counting. There are areas where number hasn’t even been taken into account yet.
On a parallel side, people are also dying of diseases or heart attacks or what not.
In the past one week, three people I know have died. True, I wasn’t close to any of them but they were present in my memory. I knew them personally. I had months of my life attributed to their memory.
And now, I get to know they don’t exist anymore except where I have given them space.
I don’t have words to share about them. I don’t know what I will tell their families. I’ve been where they are and I know how they feel. Death is another name for irreparable loss.
A loss which is felt so deep within the self that it cannot be measured. It is unfathomable.
It gets me thinking about how pointless every fear we have, apart from the fear of losing someone we love: a family member, a friend, a colleague.
We can just sit and think about the tragedy, cry a few tears and move on with life. What else can we afford to do?
Moving on feels like a betrayal to them. How would you move on from the death of a friend whom you saw grow up into a beautiful person full of life and potential.
All those possibilities gone to waste.
Their parents, who invest in their children, what are they holding on to now? The mind reels when trying to gauge the extent of the situation.
The next step is denial. We deny the tragedy, we refuse to register it in our feeble minds and it is then that we breathe easy, that it becomes easier to sleep at night.
Ignorance is bliss, it’s true. And that’s what we choose to be able to get out of bed everyday and do the mundane tasks that status quo has laid out for you.
Pointless tasks, that have no value in the larger scheme of things.
Time is of value. It is a priceless commodity which doesn’t come back. I wish I had made more effort to be in touch before we ran out of time.
But we’re out of time. Do people turn to stars after death? Is there a slight possibility that you know how much your absence means to me? Maybe I should have talked more, been involved more. I could have. But now it’s late.
Death is in the air. I smell the sourness of your loss in every breath I take and it hits my at the back of my throat where a lump forms every time I think of you all.
And I remember that we are as vulnerable as any creature here. And no matter how, we’re all going to die.
My only consolation is that maybe there is something good after death. Maybe this world is the pit of darkness and death is the ushering of light. Maybe you’re in a better place. Maybe you’re now at peace.