The Last Day


The last day when I saw my dad alive.
On the eve of my dad’s death, he was very very restless. I am not exaggerating! He was restless. Sometimes sitting on the couch, sometimes on the bed, sometimes on the floor. It drove me insane to see dad in such a state. My mom and me watched dad all night long, moving here and there. I wanted to pull my hair out and scream to see dad ib so much pain. It still kills me when I remember. By the time the morning came, we were all tired as we stayed awake with dad the whole night long. Dad never once said anything. In the morning, everyone was tense! No one was talking. All of our relatives came, sitting around dad. I never once went near him. I was afraid and its my life’s regret that I didnt have the courage to face the truth. I refused to believe what the situation was telling me, I refused to hear what mom was trying to make me understand. It was a total melancholy for me. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t ready for it. The whole day I stayed away. Once I went near dad to force him to drink a bit of water and a bit of his medicine. He used to listen to me. Dad was delirious the whole day. Everyone knew it was only a matter of time before he would …
My mom and uncle asked me whether they should get an oxygen cylinder to help dad breathe. I nodded my head vigorously. They looked at each other and my uncle left to get one. Till 8 o clock, his condition kept on worsening.

I dont think I can continue. I will complete it some other time. Sigh!

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

Advertisements

The Last One


I am proud to tell you that I recently wrote my 99th poem as well. So all in all, I am left with only one more to complete my 100. I am so excited. I cannot describe it in words. Phew! I am kind of nervous too as to what should be my topic for the 100th. It must be awesome and worth it. So I hope, I just hope to find the right stuff to write. My fingers are crossed and I hope I write it soon before my patience gives way. Okay! 🙂
I will post my 100th in the next post and will not upload any post before that now. I pray to Allah to give me what I want and the sooner the better. So keep your eyes open and attentive for my next post. Dont get your hopes high though. I dont know what it will be! All I hope is that I write it soon and it should be the best … Sigh … 😀

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

A Fresh Slap On The Face By Life


Life is cruel! Life is mean! Yet again it proved to be shitty! We shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. This is an age where people are mean and selfish. Even among family members, there is no such thing as expectance. We should never expect things. I say this all the time but yet again, I expected, my hopes got smashed, saw spots in daylight. Now I feel sorry for myself and pity myself for my stupidity. I am so silly that I don’t see through people but then again, who does?
Sigh. I am hurt and hurt deep. I never ever would’ve imagined even in my wildest dreams what happened today. I am sick, sick with the world, sick with the people residing in it and sick with their dishonesty and selfishness. Why, why, why ?
I am such an idiot! I never see that people are making a fool out of me, knowing I will believe them no matter what. They take advantage of it and lie. They have the audacity to lie to my face. I dont believe these people. I am tired! I have seen deaths and pain, sorrows and suffering. I ask for relief but I am not getting it. I am helpless. Forced to bear what is not mine. Sick, tired, fed up me … 😦

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

Unpredictability of Life


Life is something which we will never understand. Just when you know you are going good, life takes a U-turn, creates a wall in our path into which we crash.

image

We are all confused. We take advice from people who give the best of their ideas. But you know what, those people themselves don’t know what they are doing!
That is the funniest part of life.  🙂

Life is unpredictable. There’s another word for it : unfair! Life is unfair. The magnitude is so large that we hardly complain as we are always in constant shock. Shock, for what happens in our life. Shock, for what we bear: the pain, the loss, the sorrow. Nothing, I repeat nothing happens according to plan. Even the best laid plans go to waste when life rolls its die. We are dependent on that die, the number on it decides our fate. Sigh. Its so unfair, this uncertainty.
A person leaves home for work. While on his way, he’s thinking about the tasty lunch his caring wife has packed for her. He’s wondering whether his kids reached the school on time or not. He prays for their safety. He’s travelling in his car. He’s happy as he’s going to get a rise in his pay and he’s planning on getting a new car for himself. He’s driving while thinking all this.
At the same time, there’s this guy on the bike. He’s going towards his college. He’s hungry as he left his home without breakfast. He had had a fight with his mother and was feeling sorry. He mentally makes a note to get her some chocolates on his way home as an apology for his rudeness towards her. Also, he’s thinking of the assignment he has to submit the next day. He’s almost done but just has to make final touches.
Now as these two people, going towards their respective places and pondering over their musings, meet an accident! Both die. So unfortunate!

image

Now as they were leaving home, none of them even had the slightest idea that they were going to die. That man would never taste that tasty lunch her wife had packed for him, he would never get that pay rise, he would never buy a new car.
That college student would never be able to apologise to his mother and give her those chocolates, he would never be able to finish his assignment.
This is our life! Nothing happens according to plan. We are helpless. We are forced to stay in chains.
A girl who went somewhere foreign for higher education returned home a drug addict. Her parents would never have imagined that when they decided to send her. She herself would never have known. Again the same girl recovered from her mistakes, made amends and straightened her course. That again is a surprise.
In short, life is uncertain. We often hear that “life is full of surprises” but in reality we receive way more shocks than surprises. (laughing mockingly)

image

The concept of living is rediculous. None of us live! We are all alive dead bodies. Thats what we’ve reduced to!

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

Lonely and Alone Me


This is the sad story of my life. Till last year, I had all of my friends with me. My school was the place where I loved to go. My friends and I used to have so much fun together, making up stories and jokes both funny and dirty ;). We used to make notes together, compete on who will submit the homework first. These things were so common but special at the same time. The year came to an end. We went our different ways. All of my friends got separated from me. I am not complaining but just regretting that we are not together. I didnt think about it then but slowly as this year passed, I started to see like actually feel that I was absolutely alone. Sure, I still have friends but they are just acquaintances.
What once used to be fun, I now dread going to school. I hate going to school. It takes me every ounce of energy in my body to make it through a single day! I don’t have friends in real life. Sure, we are in contact through watsapp and facebook but its not enough. All I can ask them is how they are and whats up with their life. Nothing more, nothing less. Sigh!
My life has reduced to just me!
I and me and myself. There’s no ‘you’ or ‘us’. I may live with that also but I cannot tolerate the people around me. I am absolutely fed up with people. So much spite and full of hate these people are. It annoys me as they dont leave me alone. They force their company on me and sadly, I cannot refuse. I am living all this. I am totally alone and have no friends to have fun with. My life is as monotonous as it can get. I need change but its difficult to manage. I am trying to bear it all but its taking a lot of effort. I dont have the will power or the strength to carry on. Its been 2 weeks since I went to school and honestly speaking hardly anyone asked for me in school or enquired as to why I havent been to school. I dont care about that either. I dont need anyone but thats a white lie. I too need people to miss me when I am not around. Everybody does! Sigh! I guess I will just have to hold on.

image

Dont ask me about the above picture of my name. That is just to show you guys my name in smileys. 😉

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

Heavy Heart


The feeling you get when you are in a bad mood but you don’t know why that is. And you are not feeling well which couples with the fact that you cannot sleep as your eyes hurt. Again to round off properly, you wish to just rest but cannot as you are not well. Such an awkward situation it is! Irksome I tell you!  Life is full of surprises. I woke up this morning and I was ok. Half hour later at the tuition, my head was spinning. In short, I got sick because of the chilly weather in the morning. 😦
Now I am not well. I have that sinking feeling in my heart which is keeping me wide awake!
Don’t suggest a pain killer as I don’t take pills. So all in all, I am in for a merry go round. Sigh.
I don’t like this feeling of vulnerability. Not being able to move as it hurts so, is so bad!
I am trying to sleep but in vain. So now I am writing down my thoughts on my blog.
Heavy heart is so heavy. It feels like it will drag me down due to it’s weight. And with it comes a sulky mood confining me to bed. I am feeling sleepy but cannot close my eyes. What the hell is wrong with me!
Anyways, I am going to rest for a while as this writing is taking more effort than I imagined.

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂