Heartless


Dont ever cry
No, no crying wont do
Its just another sign of how much they hurt you
You pretend, you show, you are all right
You can distract, you can laugh right in front of their sight
Take revenge, you say?
I dont have a dark side
Devil is not in me that I ruin others
Rejoice if they may in my misery
I still wont lash out, I still wont stand up
I choose silence to sound
Loneliness to love
Redeem to revenge
Pleasure to pain
No dark side, the evil mind
I cant hurt you
I cant do it!
I will always stand high
No matter the stones in my paths
The stabs on my back or the wrongs done in my favor
I had a heart but now its just a pump
Oozing blood with each thump!
Now I dont care
Now I no longer expect
I learned to live alone
With me, with myself as company.

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Broken Lives


One tempest is enough
To break
To shatter
What we knew
What we believed
One tornado of events
Enough to blow away
The foundations of stone
Of human love
Of ethics
One tsunami of tears
Enough to wash away
The regrets
The hopes
The wishes
To wash it all away
Never to be gathered and made into one
All the tornados and the tempests and the tsunami
Could never move me
I was strong and I was holding on
You broke all my bonds
You let me slip and you let me slide
Gathered in a corner
You watched me die
Blown by the tornado
Drowned by the tsunami
Swept away by the tempest
Where I could no longer breathe
I lamented my broken bonds
Our broken lives
Each precious as a pearl
Handed over to nature
Who broke and swept and drowned them all
Broken lives we now live
Empty shells that do not give.

Are You My Soulmate?


Your laugh, it makes me smile
You cries, it kills me inside
Your smile, it lights up my world bright
Your voice causes the butterfly effect
I know its you
And I think you know it too
I believe it, I am pinning my hopes on it
You are my soulmate
You are me!
Our bond, stronger than the gravity pull
Brighter like the moon when it is full
The countless stars are witness
Of my sufferings
Of my love for you
They do not tell, they do not share
But we have this secret to ourselves
You do not know
But I do
You a my soulmate
I am sure of it too
But you hurt me, you try to run away
You apologise but does that matter?
The pain doesnt leave me
The wounds you give, the ever bleeding wounds!
Makes me question my faith
Makes me doubt on what I truely believe
How can you be my other half?
How can you hurt me?
Do soulmates do that?
For you sure do it!
Always have!
And always will!
My soulmate
The end to my meager faith.

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You Let Go


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You let go of my hand
It was outstretched in the wind
As I stood on the desert sand
I couldnt lower my hand,
I couldnt let go of you
I was pushed and I was pulled
I was alone but in my own
The crowd was mean,
They hurt me
Still my hand, outstretched
Kept searching for solace
All I found were mean glances
Taunting and hurting
Strangers who were family
But acted far from it
Like the solid sun in the sky
Like the moon in the confines of the night
Like the lone cloud on a bright day
Like the last flower about to wither away
I stood among strangers, among family
Learning to live alone.
Forever alone
Echoes of my own voice
Drowned the mean, venomous cries
I stood alone with hand outstretched
Seeking comfort, seeking help
Looking for you, looking for myself.

You And I


Night fell and I made my way
To heaven, to your home a few blocks away
I threw pepples at your closed window pane
Something tells me you are awake
And just deciding whether to look
I wait patiently and you stick your head out
I gesture with hands to let me in
You decline with a firm whispered no, at first
I try again, widening my smile doublefold
You melt with it, and open the latch
I climb up the ladder and take hold of the catch
Jump inside with a triumphant squeal
You jump and run to lock the door
Hearts beating fast
We stare and we laugh
Till the early hours of dawn
When I take my que to leave
You frown and stare at the floor beneath
I smile and blow you a kiss and jump
Into the lawn
I promise you another night
Like the one we just had
I run and vanish in the wind
You sigh and sit on the sill and sing

Alone In The Game


Nothing can lift me tonight
For tonight my soul took off
My body died
And my heart cried out
The cry of pain
Of enduring beyond limits
Abandoned by soul
Left by my host
I stand alone
In this game of thorns
Took off, left my side
For something better in his eyes
Never looked back
At my soulless body
As I lay, broken
In the game.

Do You See Her?


Look her in the eye and try
To see the depths
The inside of her soul
Tell me if you find the end
To her inner world

Look at her face, observe her smile
See the muscles crunched up in pain
Trying to chase the tears away
Tell me do you see termination to the endless smile?
Do you see the tear on her beautiful cheeks?
When I tell you to see
Do you just see or do you really look
The way her back is bent
As if she carries the world
The way her head is bowed
In disappointment
The way her heart was broken
Mercilessly torn apart
Do you see her life
Do you see her?

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Heart That Can Love


Find me a heart that can love
That can love beyond boundaries
Bound to be limitless
Something which goes deep, down to the bottomless pit
Like the light to light up the way
Like the shine to brighten up the day
Find me a soul that is so pure
That they fall to their feet
Bow their heads in such purity
A soul with love so hard, so intense to give
That I bathe in its glory
That I let it sink into me
Find that heart with such a soul
Together they will make me whole
Love so true, soul so pure
I wish to die wrapped around it
Warming my heart, removing the doubts
A heart that can love, a soul I can cherish
To be mine forever
As I wish this wish to the silver star
Which seems so near yet so far

Last Speech In School


Today I made my last speech as Head Girl of my school. It feels so weird to know that I wont hold that mic again and that I wont ever deliver a speech like I have done for the past three years in a row. It was Teacher’s Day today and we had prepared a programme for them. I was supposed to give the final vote of thanks.  As I was giving my speech, I felt as if a part of me was lost. Sigh. I wont miss school but I am going to miss things like these. I love to speak publicly, on a mic, with an audience. Long live my school. 🙂

Also I would like to wish all the teachers out there a very HAPPY TEACHER’S DAY. You all make our lives a living hell in school but help us so much that we cannot thank you guys enough. The love you give and the unwavering devotion through the years of adolescence is truly remarkable.

Thank You. 😛

Favourite Lines Yet


You know how people long to be eternal. But they die with every day that passes. When you meet them, they are not what you met last. In any given hour, they kill some part of themselves. They change, they deny, they contradict it – and they call it growth. At the end, there’s nothing left, nothing unreversed or unbetrayed; as if there had never been an entity, only a succession of adjectives fading in and out on an unformed mass.

– Ayn Rand; The Fountainhead.

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Shifa Naseer

All Over Again


The clouds start to fill the sky, and I
hear the thunder
roll across the sky and then I hear
the rain start to fall.
As I hear the rain drops start to fall I
think back to
all the pain I have been put through.
I have put my heart
back together piece by piece but the
memories are still there.
It’s been so long since I have showed
anyone my feelings
because my heart is very vulnerable,
but now it has a different
feeling around you. With every touch
you make my body go numb,
no touch has ever been so wonderful,
with every look my heart
melts in the palm of your hand. On
this day I give my heart
to you, on this day I give my love to
you. I can look so deep
into your eyes it feels like your heart
is next to mine.
When I look into your eyes I can only
hope that it’s true.
I have searched a lifetime trying to
find someone like you.
I close my eyes and all I can see is
you. You gave my heart
a reason to care again. With a blink
of an eye, one look
from you sends me a feeling and I
hope it’s a feeling of love.
My life wasn’t complete until the day
that you walked in my life.
The clouds start to fill the sky and I
hear the thunder
roll across the sky and then I hear
the raindrops start
to fall. If only I knew what feelings
you have for me,
I could tell you that it’s real, the
feelings that we share.
You could spend a lifetime trying to
find someone like you,
that’s why I am glad that I found
you. I fell in love all
over again and I’ve fallen in love with
you. My heart is
yours from now till the end of time. I
just hope I can make
you mine before someone else steals
your heart away.

 

I found this in my drafts and I realised I forgot to publish it, Now seriously, If anyone out there had any doubts about my memory issues, this ought to clear it away.

Happy Sunday!

Half Life


The turning point of life
The illusion of the night
When I met my other half
Thats when I started living my life
It wasnt mine, I realised
I was a stranger to myself
I had to carry the pain
Burdened by heartache
Messed up by fate
I let go of who I was
I focused on you, gave everything to you
You burned me, turned me to ash
Still I lived my life, a half lived life
I followed you, I followed you everywhere
I live for you, something I wanted
I wanted my half life
I wanted me back
Half life is pain
It has everything to lose but nothing to gain.

Shifa Naseer