Failure

No matter how hard you avoid those memories, they find a way, like virus, corrode the present, taint the moment

Your memories are like black ink, splashed across a crisp white shirt

Like mud, that gets stuck to the soles of the shoes on a rainy day and wouldn’t get off unless dried

Like the cringe of the coward, the lies of a deceiver, too crude to hold on, too memorable to let go

And yet again, those memories stain my pillow, you owe me those tears shed in solitude

Those tears are like a river, a water fall, unending, and my sorrow unyielding, time had stopped, my wounds didn’t heal

Your words are the knives, getting sharper with each moment I stay, each moment I pray

For some peace of mind, some closure for my feeble heart but as time passes, the rain lashes on

I keep changing pillows, keep throwing away boots, keeping hoping the pain would subside like a low tide

But I fail, to keep the memories at bay, to abandon the hurt I feel from the one I love,

I fail to love the loneliness within, and I fail to smile when I should, to embrace the life I was promised in exchange for my patience to let go of what you held dear

Or so I thought.

Save me

Over the shoulder, I watch if you followed me down the path

Turned the curve, with me, did you?

I wondered where you’d lost your way, what roundabout took you from me

They say affection is poison, running in your veins, weakening the heart and tearing it apart

I wonder why I care, even when there is no you, nothing to remember, no one to remind me

The path laid out, has to be walked on alone, one step at a time

But there is fire in my blood and I taste it on my tongue

The betrayal, I feel to the depths of the drama that you don’t know I’m capable of

Trust ran too deep, and your love was a paper cut

Caught me unaware, fickle mind, give in too easy

I imploded, to the sound of Katy Perry’s fireworks

Lighting my own pyre, ablaze, the flames catch me and as I burn

The poison runs free, and in my pain, I remember the words we once exchanged

That life will go on, that love will find it’s way to heart, to heal

You did promise, you wished me well aboard the separation wave

But never did I know, that there wouldn’t be a heart left to save.

Kind Quarantine

There are four steps between the bed and the desk, cover them in two

The desk is where work happens these days, typing away the words, and the bed is the place to die for the night

A buffer zone near the balcony door, from where the warm winds of the desert come for greetings

The building opposite is always bathed in sunlight, with growing shadows as the day grows old

One, two, three, four

It is this building that is the view, unchanging, unflinching, undying and the balcony inaccessible

A picture of quarantine, a kind, privileged quarantine.

But a mental block, something to fight for. Sanity, paranoia, claustrophobia? New company to keep

The pattern on the wall is random, but when observed for long periods, a pattern emerges, a trip to limbo

Focus, and zone out, its a cycle, every day, not to break down and give up.

Bad thoughts, not far away, nostalgia has replaced the teddy bear used for cuddling

A horror tale, a kind quarantine.

Learning from the past

I found this in one of the posts from 2015.

While I don’t want to bring attention to that post, I will share a snippet that impressed me in 2020.

“I learned the importance of family, of blood ties. Earlier, I used to believe that anyone can be family if you wish to make them but that is not true as people are as transitory as water in any container. Family is the only security blanket one has in this world and they will never abandon you. That is one thing that is given and does not change unless of course when death intervenes.”

Seems legit given the current situation.

Stay safe, you guys.

#coronatimes

Unused

You can leave, and never look back, but stay a while, let me catch my breath

Witness is the Sun, and the Moon and all the stars, we all waited for the moment to pass

Dragged out our courage to stand and look, stare into oblivion of a repetitive cycle

The day and the night, is all that I can live by

Stay a while to see me grow, to see me cut my roots and sow

A new harvest, for the summer next, when all but pain will be forgotten

You can get your oasis then, when I have my bottomless well

To drown, to thrive, or just to sit by

Hold my life in my hands, rather the hand it over

Like rust, I wince and crumble, and stay,

my feet, unused, obey.

Survive

Isolation, a slow death, circling the drain, little beings

Lost, powerless and desperate, hoping for life

Being lifeless still, existing in a pointless loop

Mechanical, behaviour, tanking will

The world is closed, nowhere to run

Where one house is burning, ten are burning still

Mankind, timid, ruthless nature taking its course

Finding ways to sustain, killing the virus within