You Let Go


image

You let go of my hand
It was outstretched in the wind
As I stood on the desert sand
I couldnt lower my hand,
I couldnt let go of you
I was pushed and I was pulled
I was alone but in my own
The crowd was mean,
They hurt me
Still my hand, outstretched
Kept searching for solace
All I found were mean glances
Taunting and hurting
Strangers who were family
But acted far from it
Like the solid sun in the sky
Like the moon in the confines of the night
Like the lone cloud on a bright day
Like the last flower about to wither away
I stood among strangers, among family
Learning to live alone.
Forever alone
Echoes of my own voice
Drowned the mean, venomous cries
I stood alone with hand outstretched
Seeking comfort, seeking help
Looking for you, looking for myself.

A Little Too Much


I am actually laughing right now. Strangely, I am having an out-of-body experience right now. In a haze I suppose. What am I? A robot? Since morning, I gave two healthy classes. I still have 3 classes and I skipped school as I was supposed to have an extra class too but the teacher rescheduled it. In short, I wasted my half day. I will get a good lecture on skipping two days of school in a row. Tomorrow is a saturday! Who goes to school on saturday ?!?!? Me ! 😦
Anyways, I gotta finish a lot of pending work from my many tuitions. Gotta get back to work!

I love you blog. You keep me sane.

Have a good day. 🙂

Shifa Naseer

Using The Last Of What I Have


There was once a time when I would’ve loved to have a schedule which I have now. I leave home at 6:30 am in the morning and actually ( without exaggeration) enter home at 6:30 pm in the evening. I juggle around 5 classes at tuitions per day with a 6th class on weekends. Right now, I have tears in my eyes as I struggle to write this post. I am on the verge of breakdown. My original plan was to wear myself down so I would not ‘think’ about all that haunts me but its actually making me live my nightmare. Its too hectic for me. As they say “be careful what you wish for”.

No time to breathe
All I do is run
From the world, from myself
I hide behind the busy
I cringe away, unable to face
While I wear myself down
To a point where I am flat on the ground …
#suffering
#almost dead
#nearing a massive breakdown
#fed up me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;(

Shifa Naseer