I Cant Turn Back


One step ahead of me, you stand
Carrying what I wish, what I want
I cant take that step
Its too hard
To raise my foot, to stamp it
To put it forward, move towards you
You take more steps, farther away now
I stand, looking helpless
For I can never hope to catch up
I stand still, the weight on my heart
I wave at you to stop, to wait for me
Yet you move on, not looking at me
I burn inside, I want you here
I plead, I beg but you go on.

Turning around, I walk away
Towards the other end, away from you
Nothing will pull me around
I wont call me back
I am on a course to save my fragile heart
I cant turn back now
I retrace my steps
I take my words back
I pushed all memories aside
As I move on forward
You wont see me as I wont see you again
Never will I do this, never will I forget
Never will I let you rule me, never will I submit

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The Child Who Could Not See


On the bench, in the park, I sat next to a child who was looking over the lake nearby. He was not wearing sunglasses and I was amazed that he was facing the sun without squinting his eyes. He had a water bottle in his hand on which there was a picture of “spongebob squarepants”. I smiled at him but he took no notice. I was exhausted from my run and was panting hard. At first I didnt think he noticed me, but then he passed his water bottle to me. I smiled at him gratefully and took a sip.

I handed him back his water bottle. I sat straight and looked forward like him. I couldnt help but squint my eyes from the sun. I looked at him and he seemed perfectly alright looking in the direction of the morning sun!

I was surprised. I asked him how he could do that. He smiled. I couldnt make out the meaning of that smile. It seemed amusing and sorrowful at the same time. I waited for him to reply. 

Quite some time passed and I looked at my watch. I still had some time at my disposal before heading home.

Just then he cleared his throat and without looking away from the sun, he asked me to look.

I said where.

He said just look.

I again said where!

He smiled and drew a breath.

Look around you, what do you see?

Do you see the fresh, green grass? Greener than the green!

 When I asked you to look

Did you look at the sky or did you look at me?

Did you look at the lake you see or did you turn your face to the sun?

When I asked you to look

Did you see the pretty colorful flowers and the bees around them?

Did you look for the birds in the trees singing the songs of spring?

If you didnt look, look again!

I bet you wont be able to turn your gaze!

Thats when I looked and thats when I saw

I opened my mind’s eye and looked

Nothing was out of place, nothing had a flaw

I was awed as I looked!

I looked and I couldnt look away!

I smiled and he smiled with me

Together we sat on the bench, in the park

 

After some time, a girl around my age came to our bench. She smiled at me and took the child’s hand who had shown me what I had been missing! She guided him towards the exit of the park. I couldnt help but notice that the girl was guiding and helping the child to walk. It was almost as if … as if the child was … 

NO! It couldnt be! As the realisation dawned on me. I felt ashamed that a person who couldnt see, knew so much about beauty and color and purity. While I, who never even bothered, was blind to all of that!

 

I bowed my head and I felt sorry that I didnt have the sight!

For he saw all that even though he was blind 

While I sat here with my visionless eyes!

I Feel Empty


Do you at times get the feeling that you are empty? Do you feel you dont have emotions?
People think so. They think only they feel bad. No one else has that capability. Well, my friends, they are wrong. We feel. We all feel. When anyone hurts you, it is so painful that you cannot even cry from the effort. The hurt you feel seems multiplied but since you dont show it, people think you dont feel it. Easy for them to derive that. Sigh.
I feel. I too feel. I am not dead inside. I too have a heart, buried deep under. Please dont hurt me. It makes me sad. Please stay away …

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s Phone