Those pages I filled, put ink on paper
Those words I wrote, my heart and my soul
Now you know.
What is hidden, all that is in me
The bitterness, the negativity
Now you know.
The fact remains that I love you so
To look you in the eye as you look in mine
For now you know.
Exposed, I stand
No barriers anymore, no secrets
that you don’t know.
I wish I could use the words
The words which are held inside
I wish I could say what I feel
What I have, what I believe
All that I wanted to say
The multitude of emotions
The solidarity of my silence
A piercing, lasting one
My eyes trying to convey
All that I ever wanted to say
I wish I could overcome my stammer
Just get it out in to the open
Let my feelings flow, let nothing come in my way
If I loved, I wish I could say it
If I cared, I wish I could show it
Deny myself what I am
Just be what I wanted to be for one night
I wish I could say it all
That is hidden inside me
Beneath the layers of lies
Defying everything that I ever stood for.
I am chasing a fantasy
A blur in the dark
Like a mist, untouchable
The eerie silence, mocking my failure
Like the laughter of the ghosts
The canopy of trees, trapping
Binding me to insanity
While I obsess over my fantasy
Toiling, moving, going on
My fantasy will surely leave me torn.
My vision of the future, fading in the dim light
While chasing my fantasy, my demons to fight
Intoxicating me, driving me on the edge
I feel high with craving, so intense
Is the feeling of success
I am chasing My Fantasy
While revelling in the pain, the ecstasy.