I Cant Turn Back


One step ahead of me, you stand
Carrying what I wish, what I want
I cant take that step
Its too hard
To raise my foot, to stamp it
To put it forward, move towards you
You take more steps, farther away now
I stand, looking helpless
For I can never hope to catch up
I stand still, the weight on my heart
I wave at you to stop, to wait for me
Yet you move on, not looking at me
I burn inside, I want you here
I plead, I beg but you go on.

Turning around, I walk away
Towards the other end, away from you
Nothing will pull me around
I wont call me back
I am on a course to save my fragile heart
I cant turn back now
I retrace my steps
I take my words back
I pushed all memories aside
As I move on forward
You wont see me as I wont see you again
Never will I do this, never will I forget
Never will I let you rule me, never will I submit

Advertisements

Somehow Seen


Somehow she managed to smile, to look peaceful on the outside when there was a war inside.

Somehow she made everyone’s day while hers had been marked dead, made them smile while it had been ages since she had smiled herself.

Somehow she pulled herself together when she was broken to pieces just to save others from falling apart, to make them strong, to help them hold on.

Somehow she lived each day with people who would never miss her other than the time when they needed her.

Somehow she still  lived with the truth that people only took advantage of her patience and perseverance. She still managed not to appear hurt and smile throughout.

Somehow the person who smiled and smiled, didnt feel the tears leaking from her eyes. No one saw those tears.

No one.

But me.

When I saw her tears, I fell to my knees.

Her tears were pure, they were real

She was hurt and in pain

No one saw her, no one knew her

They all claimed to be her friend but she was alone and no one realised that

Pity on her. Shame on them

When I saw her tears, my heart broke.

My pain was so sharp but it was a fraction of her pain which touched me

I died a little inside knowing her struggles, her hurdles

The sorrows she beared, the pains she took

The walk she walked, the talks she talked!

I couldnt see her this way and I turned away

Leaving her with the black shadows

Somehow she managed to live in them

Somehow she managed to remain unseen

To stay hidden

What I was


I was a soap bubble, all smooth and soft 

Transparent on either side, the air holding me aloft 

I was into myself, the world was me 

I held no one, no one held me

I was open and I was free,

I was as vast and as deep as the open sea

I was the bright blue sky, I was the true blue 

I had it in me, the shine and glitter, all true.

 

I was that green garden where flowers held mass 

Singing lullabies, a dance gathering

I was the tree in that garden, I was a flower 

I was all the green grass blades and I was the wild bush

I was the bee, chasing you 

I was the foliage, shading you 

 

But now that I lost what I was 

You gave me an escape

You let me out through the back door

You saved me from the destruction which was in store

The blue sky, the green grass

The mighty sun, the shiny stars 

 No one is mine, for all is lost 

I am lost and out the back door 

Away from everything, off to find another shore.

Fall


There comes a time where you feel all alone
In despair and totally forlorn
You feel He deserted you, left you
You sense abandonment in each step that you take
Vulnerability becomes your forte
You tremble, you shiver, you quiver with fear
You tend to falter in your steps
Unsure of where to go
You head out into the unknown with defeat clear in your eyes
Downtrodden as you realise your feat
There is no blue sky above and no green grass beneath
Holding back the tears of shame
Facing ridicule, facing negative fame
Totally demoralised as I hear the taunts
I still hold my head high
I still carry my near extinguished flame.

Defeat Through Tears


Cant explain the tears that fall
Uninviting onto my cheeks
And down the chin they go
And fall into my open, empty hands
As I stare at them
I feel wounded and torn
A part of me snatched away
As easily as breathing is
No one seems to see me
As invisible as the air, I am
How many times can I say
That I am hurt and bleeding
No one, not one knows how I feel
Loser, I become, as I kneel
To the unseen forces
That hasten my fall
Fall through my strength
And fall through my tears
Without mercy, without fear.

Shifa Naseer