I Cant Turn Back

One step ahead of me, you stand
Carrying what I wish, what I want
I cant take that step
Its too hard
To raise my foot, to stamp it
To put it forward, move towards you
You take more steps, farther away now
I stand, looking helpless
For I can never hope to catch up
I stand still, the weight on my heart
I wave at you to stop, to wait for me
Yet you move on, not looking at me
I burn inside, I want you here
I plead, I beg but you go on.

Turning around, I walk away
Towards the other end, away from you
Nothing will pull me around
I wont call me back
I am on a course to save my fragile heart
I cant turn back now
I retrace my steps
I take my words back
I pushed all memories aside
As I move on forward
You wont see me as I wont see you again
Never will I do this, never will I forget
Never will I let you rule me, never will I submit

Somehow Seen

Somehow she managed to smile, to look peaceful on the outside when there was a war inside.

Somehow she made everyone’s day while hers had been marked dead, made them smile while it had been ages since she had smiled herself.

Somehow she pulled herself together when she was broken to pieces just to save others from falling apart, to make them strong, to help them hold on.

Somehow she lived each day with people who would never miss her other than the time when they needed her.

Somehow she still  lived with the truth that people only took advantage of her patience and perseverance. She still managed not to appear hurt and smile throughout.

Somehow the person who smiled and smiled, didnt feel the tears leaking from her eyes. No one saw those tears.

No one.

But me.

When I saw her tears, I fell to my knees.

Her tears were pure, they were real

She was hurt and in pain

No one saw her, no one knew her

They all claimed to be her friend but she was alone and no one realised that

Pity on her. Shame on them

When I saw her tears, my heart broke.

My pain was so sharp but it was a fraction of her pain which touched me

I died a little inside knowing her struggles, her hurdles

The sorrows she beared, the pains she took

The walk she walked, the talks she talked!

I couldnt see her this way and I turned away

Leaving her with the black shadows

Somehow she managed to live in them

Somehow she managed to remain unseen

To stay hidden

Peace Within

Free he was, from all cares
Free he had been before he woke
To the rising alarms
To the warning bells
Brought face to face with pain, he was
Shattered, broken for life
To cope, he turned rogue
Living extreme, he set off to destroy
Over the time, the days turned dark
The light never touching him
He became angrier still
Did all to set himself ablaze
But then the fight in him waned
Slowly, he realised, it was not enough
To vent out his anger
It simply was not enough
So he turned around inside
Cooped up, to be alone
To gather his pieces, to gain strength
He found his peace again
As he made good with his heart
The tempest was calmed after the dark night
The sun shone bright again as he gave up his fight.

Shifa Naseer

The Rage In Me

Anger boils in me
For people who dont care
Care to see that they hurt me
But no! They dont!
They make it worse
Make my life a curse
The subdued anger is poison
It eats me away
I become all ash and flakes
Blow with the wind in rage
A pure rage of contempt
Rage for their ignorance
I might die as it is too much
Die for anger, die for relief
Die for pain, die for ease

Shifa Naseer

Going Away!

I need a break. My nerves are on the edge. I am angry at so many people at the same time, it makes me go bonkers. Urgh!
And the worst part is no one knows how angry I really am. It is totally not fair. I bear the hurt and then I got to bear the anger.
There was a time when I used to take out my anger all the time. It now seems like I can never do that. I dont take out my anger at all. Its sick and awful.
#scowling . And so I am doing what I am best at and that is running away. I need some time away from people. All of them.
All too tired and angry.

Shifa Naseer