Bereft


Words can’t fill the void

Stumped at every point, laughing at my destiny

Bereft of much joy, for me.

The Last Breath


It’s painful to watch people love, see them gushing and caring, laughing and hugging

Reading in books about romance that doesn’t exist anymore. Writing letters on fading paper

Carving out words of love, and find memories, it’s brazen to see the affection they share

And even more painful to watch them love afar, someone who doesn’t want them around

It’s brutal to watch them wait, wait for something or someone they’re never sure they’re going to meet

And yet

The real tragedy is hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, keeping the flame alive, and burning.

Smiling through tears and living in agony, hiding the pain behind a frozen smile

Unflinching morale, they say it’s love. It’s more like a last breath before the current takes you under

Befor your lungs give out and water seeps in, and before you hit the floor of your kitchen and bleed out

It’s the last breath love forces out of you, because the beloved couldn’t care less whether you’re a part of the bigger picture or just a wallflower.

Abandoned


Likes leaves in Autumn, like birds from their nests

Like footprints in the sand, like the Sun on a cloudy day

You left, never again looked in my way, a solitary existence

I marched forward, not paying heed to the naked tree

Turned a blind eye to the abandoned home, long gone

Didn’t look back at the lost prints, a sign of your presence once felt so strong

Never looked up at the sky again, for fear of being trapped in the endless grey rumours

That you once stemmed from the same stream where I used to come to drink.

Musings coming your way


I don’t claim to know much about life, hell, I don’t claim to know much about anything really.

I have most of my days, drowned in my own troubles, with my head stuck in the sand.

But I am reasonable enough to know that you need to cherish what you have because life is unpredictable and may take things away from you without warning

Good health, money, fame, people who love you?

Every single thing you have, don’t lose it just because you have eyes on something that is farther away

Grass is always greener on the other side.

I learned it the hard way. And I’m still trying to find my way back.

I’m not lost, I’m just reluctant to agree and accept and move forward with a clean slate.

Life is too short and too meaningful to let it go to waste. Hold those who love you close for there are many who are deprived of it.

I’m loved. And I want to love and be alive and not just live.

How do I overcome this overpowering belief system that I have developed based on the tragedies of my past?

How do I break free and hold my head high and call myself a survivor if I still struggle to get out of bed due to lack of motivation to live?

Someone I Once Knew


If only you’d said what I wanted to hear

I may have been relieved of the pain, may have been delivered

But it is not to be, I have had to lie

Hide myself from you, because you don’t seem to be you.

A shadow of someone I once knew

It’s a tragedy, its a farce, it’s something that has finally gone, at long last

It’s irretrievable and it’s not okay for you, I still grieve, I still care

And if it weren’t for my ego, I may just have dropped to my knees and washed out the garbage

Were it not for your cold skin, I may just have had a smile on my face

Seeking some peace, if I ever asked for help, you’d refuse and smile and tell me it’s nothing

It’s nothing to you, it’s something to me and it’s more than what I can handle today

Right On Time


Like a clock, right on time, quickly scrolling to a point, I wait and hold my breath as the page loads

I see, sigh in relief, as I mark the day and the attendance of a view and am satisfied for the day

That something is in my favour, that swimming against the stream will pay off someday

And I see and count again and stare at the map, as I trace my fingers along the edges, like it’s your face

Somehow, in this desolate existence, I find my solace.