Save me


Over the shoulder, I watch if you followed me down the path

Turned the curve, with me, did you?

I wondered where you’d lost your way, what roundabout took you from me

They say affection is poison, running in your veins, weakening the heart and tearing it apart

I wonder why I care, even when there is no you, nothing to remember, no one to remind me

The path laid out, has to be walked on alone, one step at a time

But there is fire in my blood and I taste it on my tongue

The betrayal, I feel to the depths of the drama that you don’t know I’m capable of

Trust ran too deep, and your love was a paper cut

Caught me unaware, fickle mind, give in too easy

I imploded, to the sound of Katy Perry’s fireworks

Lighting my own pyre, ablaze, the flames catch me and as I burn

The poison runs free, and in my pain, I remember the words we once exchanged

That life will go on, that love will find it’s way to heart, to heal

You did promise, you wished me well aboard the separation wave

But never did I know, that there wouldn’t be a heart left to save.

Kind Quarantine


There are four steps between the bed and the desk, cover them in two

The desk is where work happens these days, typing away the words, and the bed is the place to die for the night

A buffer zone near the balcony door, from where the warm winds of the desert come for greetings

The building opposite is always bathed in sunlight, with growing shadows as the day grows old

One, two, three, four

It is this building that is the view, unchanging, unflinching, undying and the balcony inaccessible

A picture of quarantine, a kind, privileged quarantine.

But a mental block, something to fight for. Sanity, paranoia, claustrophobia? New company to keep

The pattern on the wall is random, but when observed for long periods, a pattern emerges, a trip to limbo

Focus, and zone out, its a cycle, every day, not to break down and give up.

Bad thoughts, not far away, nostalgia has replaced the teddy bear used for cuddling

A horror tale, a kind quarantine.

Learning from the past


I found this in one of the posts from 2015.

While I don’t want to bring attention to that post, I will share a snippet that impressed me in 2020.

“I learned the importance of family, of blood ties. Earlier, I used to believe that anyone can be family if you wish to make them but that is not true as people are as transitory as water in any container. Family is the only security blanket one has in this world and they will never abandon you. That is one thing that is given and does not change unless of course when death intervenes.”

Seems legit given the current situation.

Stay safe, you guys.

#coronatimes

Unused


You can leave, and never look back, but stay a while, let me catch my breath

Witness is the Sun, and the Moon and all the stars, we all waited for the moment to pass

Dragged out our courage to stand and look, stare into oblivion of a repetitive cycle

The day and the night, is all that I can live by

Stay a while to see me grow, to see me cut my roots and sow

A new harvest, for the summer next, when all but pain will be forgotten

You can get your oasis then, when I have my bottomless well

To drown, to thrive, or just to sit by

Hold my life in my hands, rather the hand it over

Like rust, I wince and crumble, and stay,

my feet, unused, obey.

Survive


Isolation, a slow death, circling the drain, little beings

Lost, powerless and desperate, hoping for life

Being lifeless still, existing in a pointless loop

Mechanical, behaviour, tanking will

The world is closed, nowhere to run

Where one house is burning, ten are burning still

Mankind, timid, ruthless nature taking its course

Finding ways to sustain, killing the virus within

Life in the times of Coronavirus


Sipping apple juice in a long, cylindrical glass with a narrow mouth, wearing baggy pants and an over-sized shirt, hair still wet from the mid-day bath I just had.

It’s the nth day of the self-quarantine I have been under and time has taken a backseat. Its as if time isn’t moving at all and yet it going way too fast without being made use of.

Life has come to a standstill. Taking a stroll has been limited to a visit to the balcony door; cheering people on, making heroes of ourselves for saving lives. #Controlthepandemic.

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-28 at 7.46.44 PMI cannot speak for everyone, but I can say that its a privilege that I can sit home, and still afford my meals (at least for now). Who knows what the future will bring? A recession? Loss of jobs is already on the rise (read it somewhere) and how far are we to fall before we begin building again?

Its a question of when not if. But this time, where will we end up?

I’ve always made a mockery of philosophers but now I understand where they bring their ideas from. I’ve had many ideas ever since the lockdown has begun. Many ideas are stemming from an utter lack of distraction which I consider my constant partner in life.

Distraction and denial.

But the buggers have left me alone with my thoughts this time. March (26) came and went. And I was still thinking. I am restricting myself to spare a lot of people from a lot of pain. But will anyone restrict themselves for me?

Moving on.

Writing has been an elusive exercise. I want to write so much and yet I don’t know where to begin. The point of this has been lost on me already.

While I’ve been wallowing in self-pity, there are many who are struggling to make ends meet. The world is a mess and I seem more organised than most. What does it say about me? Have I been selfish in my grief?

Have I been selfish in my grief, running after one thing and forgetting everything else in between? One thing that I could not get, and letting everything else slide? I’ve been luckier than most, that I survived and I moved forward if not on.

Coronavirus is like a wake-up call for all of us. We need to “Carpe Diem” this shit once the crisis dies down.

I, for one, want to travel. Travel so far and wide that I realise how little I mean in the bigger circle of life. That I am not the end of the world and not the beginning; use the word “I” a little less maybe. 😛

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-28 at 7.49.44 PM

Now, the reason why I started this post, to begin with:

Lost in Tide

It has been easy, to breathe, but difficult to live

What is life but a whimsical tale of woe, for me, and for those who are lost

Are they lost? Or am I?

It’s an unconvincing world, with ungrateful people and a lot of heartbreak

One leads to the other, and on and on the gyre churns, I recall some poet once said

That when things fell apart, there was no one to hold the fort

We are all lost in the tide, that once rose, and took us all in.

 

Wrinkles


Her eyes have lost the sparkle, like the fading stars at dawn

Death of the darkness, her wrinkles come to light, with every smile, an underline,

She dies as the Sun rises, also rise the scars

Trace them with me as they tell their tale

Here is where she used to break skin to laugh, not a polite one, but a snort

There is where the lines would form where the tears would fall down the cheeks into the hollow of her collarbone, collecting.

Somewhere here you’ll find the scratches, of harrowing times, leaving their mark

If the world was dying today, you’d be in my thoughts and if you were to tell me to go alone,

I’d sit on the doorstep of my dream house where once I had fairy lights and green drapes hung from the hopes of tomorrow

Love has long been gone from life, not many regrets to counter my strike, would’ve tried to stick it through, had it been otherwise

Life in the times of corona, a hateful time to be alive, but can salvage from the moments that one can hope to survive