Hole


Its an empty hole, you told me not to fill

My mind wanders on its own, a term called explore

I watch as the hole grows bigger and bigger until it stands tall over me

Watching as I crumble and I wait

And you did ask me to wait for you

So the clock ticks, and I tick with it

Its mocking me, you are not coming it seems to be saying

Didnt you say, you would? I remember you saying you would

But the hole keeps growing, words are losing all meaning

As I lose my sense with it

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Children with fathers


I wonder what they dream about, those children with fathers

If not for that one face, watching over as you grow

What do they dream about?

If not for those bedtime stories, goodnight hugs

What do they yearn for?

If not for the well-deserved pat on the back, whether you fail or pass

What do they ask for?

Those children with fathers, fathers to love, to call out and get an answer

What do they seek, if not for the pleasure of saying the word, Dad?

I wonder, if they know what they have

I wonder, if they cherish what we do not have

Children without fathers, lost without the protective embrace

No one to have our backs, no patting, no stories, no warm hugs

Children without fathers, depressed souls, seeking validation from other children with fathers

I wonder if they know that we see them longingly, hoping to have what they have

Knowing that the pleasure is lost to them, aware that what was will never be

If I could tell you, I would remind you to cherish what you have

Children with fathers, blessed are you to not have known despair of this kind

Children without fathers, miserable wretches, finding solace in dreams about the faces they long to see

I wonder, what they dream about?

Those children who have fathers.

Ban


I was born,my mother held me to her breast

Nursing me, cuddling me, telling me she loved me

Hope in her eyes, to give me everything that was denied to her.

Little do the dreamers know, that fate is out to get you

As I grew, the walls around me grew too

I was a girl, in a man’s world.

Back in the day, I loved wearing skirts

It was banned for fear of odd eyes oogling my fair skin

I loved letting my hair down, play with the wind

It was banned for who knew who would get entangled in my tresses

I loved to run, to play out of my house with other beings my age

It was banned for the fear of an unfavourable eye, touch, or worse, an insult

As I grew older, the confinement grew with me

Years have passed, the restrictions have not left me yet

Though, I breathe in air which is less dense in norms

I feel the prickle of the ban, that I overthrew, somewhat

Mind is fickle, it has been trained, it will take time

But I will take my sweet time to burn free from the ropes

I do not want another ban, banning my restrictions

Her Side


I found this in my drafts. It is not my story but a story of a person who once told me her woes. I don’t know why I did nothing about this. I still don’t know what to do about it.

Did this person find the happiness she was looking for? I wonder.

She was born in a house where there were people who were too absorbed in their own lives to pay any attention to her.

Being the youngest, she was the least noticeable. Their household was quite well off. Her father was an electrical engineer and naturally was too busy to notice her day to day activities.

Her mother was too much into herself that she didn’t bother with her youngest child. She had two elder brothers and two elder sisters but she still felt lonely.

Her siblings seemed to be separated from her as if there was an invisible wall between them. She felt she was invisible, non-existent to her own family.

No one really paid attention to what she did, how she lived. No one noticed she was dyslexic. They were too busy, too too self-centred.

No one had the time to check whether she did her homework or if she was doing well in her academic studies.

She used to study in one of the most prestigious schools but one of the women of the neighbourhood told her family out of spite that they practiced Hinduism in that school.

Her family who had no idea about the little girl’s life took her out of that school and to a government. That was the first disaster that shook her life.

Once her teacher gave her a few questions which were sure to come in the paper the next day and she had no idea how to solve those questions.

She went to her father to ask for help and he was quite discouraging. He told the little girl that she didn’t know how to do the basics, how could she solve these.

Not losing hope, she went to her big brothers but to her dismay they too disappointed her. She couldn’t get the solutions to those questions and hence failed the test.

Need


Be rational, be cold, be something you’re not

Dont say, but hold, something that need not be told

Its easy to sway, its easier to believe

But its a lie, whatever works to keep you

Its a lie, born out of necessity to make ends meet

To put forward a front, that I do not need.

Language


A language of our own, would you understand what I say to you today

Words pouring down from my tongue, viscous like the sap from a broken bark of a tree

Slow, lulling the mind to dark, dark corners as I look for words to say

What was in my heart, my mind failed, my breath ragged, palms sweaty

Trying to find an opening to you, to bare my soul today, for saving something worth a thousand hearts

For me, for you? Not sure, but I would like to believe that the balance is equal

That the pain is the same from across the seven seas, throbbing like the wound festering without care