When everything you know is proved wrong and your struggles mean nothing because you have achieved nothing,
You thought that you’re putting your investments in the right place, you’re giving it all that you could ever give
But it amounts to nothing and that’s where everything falls apart.
I have understood and I have learned and I have failed over time.
Now they come back like a ghost and I look at their silhouettes and am reminded what I lost
A part of myself and not the person themselves because they chose to go and I chose to stay.
I stayed because I did not have the strength or the courage to leave. I had to go through the burns, I had to go through the pain in order to gain some clarity.
Through all of this, all of the pain and the sorrow, a bubble was made around me, not a wall.
It’s because they always burst the bubble. But if I had walls, I would be safe or so I thought.
I’ve spent months trying to figure out where I stand and every time when I think it is making sense, it moves away, it becomes transient, it becomes shallow, it becomes a whisper that is lost in the dark.
There is no Halo, there is no light, there is just me waiting in a dark room. I’m not looking for a savior. I’m not looking for you.
I’ve always been alone and that has been enough because I never betrayed myself. I never had the intention of being broke.
What I’m left with is what I’m working with, it’s a half picture that nobody wants to take home.