Today, let us be honest, not hide behind excuses, no explanations
It was a decision, well thought, to hang it all, to let the love go
Was it even love? A thought ever did cross your mind, as you started aligning your thoughts, letting the past slide through your fingers, something weighing down on you.
Maybe you got hurt too, I imagine. Maybe you cry in your sleep too. Maybe, just maybe, you think about calling back or replying to “Will you talk to me?”
My side of the story is simple.
I am in pain
I am in so much pain that I cannot speak
I am in so much pain that I feel my chest will explode and I will die and I do not die
I breathe, and it hurts in my throat because there is a lump there and it hurts 24*7 because I do not stop breathing
It seems I am exaggerating it. But I wish I was
I am in so much pain because of what happened and how it happened and why it happened
And it is gone, I am in pain because I do not want it to end
I am in pain because because I am not worth the effort
I am in pain. And no I am not alright
I want to suffocate myself so the pain which feels like a pulse behind an open wound would stop.