I wrote this piece years ago and while I was going through my drafts, I found it. Wow. It has actually been quite a long journey since 2003.
Today I want to confess something which I had buried deep inside my heart. It is a memory, a very painful one.
Let me take you back to the time when I was in 4th standard section B. My form teacher was a very good teacher when it came to academics. I respect her equally today as I did when she was my form teacher.
I used to write from a very young age especially poetry and I had started developing a little confidence in my writing. Just as a 11 year old would be excited to know what others thought of her writing, I was also excited. Since a teacher is the epitome of intelligence for a young mind, I thought I would show my teacher my poems and she would tell me where I stand.
So I went upto her table, kept my copy in front of her and told her that I wrote it. I still remember that she read two lines and started laughing. She threw my copy across the table at me, laughed in my face and said ” yeh kaun pade ga?”
Imagine my shock, disappointment and hurt that my teacher, my idol said such harsh words to me, a 11 year old child.
Dejected and discouraged, I thought that my teacher was right. I didnt know how to write and so as a result, I stopped writing.
But I started writing again in my 6th standard. And went on progressing thanks to certain teachers ( whom I wont mention as I dont want to compare my teachers. I love and respect each one who has ever taught me), I got better and better.
That memory faded from my conscience mind but was resurfaced a few days ago due to an incident which I will share in my next confession.
This memory hit me so hard right now. And it made me cry. Today I would like to tell her that despite being a good teacher, she failed to be my guardian, my guide. She failed me at a time when i needed her support the most. She broke the heart of a small child who wanted nothing but appreciation from her. It wouldnt have hurt to just pat me on my back and say “you can do better”. I swear it wouldve made my day. But no, you were bitter and cruel. You gave me a scar that I will carry for the rest of my life.
I used to look up to you
Yet You failed me.
You were my idol
Yet you crushed my hopes when I was a child.