If Only I Could, I Would.

Turn back the wheels of time as I sit astride the carriage of fate
I could feel the sand passing from my closed fist
The feeling of losing everything that I was left with
Trying to save what was breaking, my life as I knew it
If only I could, I would.

Rebuild what was turning into ruins
The rains lashing against my broken house
I stand in the middle of the catastrophe
I watch as he steps away from me
Quick, steady steps into oblivion as I watch
I cry, I shout, I beg to be heard
He smiles, he waves but he does not stop
I wanted to stop him
If only I could, I would.

Looking at my family, all shattered and torn
To wash away their wounds and scars
Dry away their tear stained faces
Kiss away the pain, wash away the misery
He left and he took the light with him
Leaving behind us, all exposed and vulnerable
With no walls around us
I wanted to build that wall again, more strong than ever
If only I could, I would.

Miss you Papa. Really I do. We all do.


2 thoughts on “If Only I Could, I Would.

  1. Thank you for this poem. It was a beautiful discovery for me today. I’m sorry for your loss. My father told me before he passed “try to fashion something out of suffering.” You have done this.

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