Today is a very sad day. Four years ago, on 16th May, 2010 at 10:45 pm to be exact, my father died. It was a heart stopping moment, something which happened in slow motion. It was like going into shock. It felt as if my whole existence was a lie now that dad was no more in existence. Once a person dies, everything about that person starts fading away. People mourn for a day or two but its the family which carries the burden of the loss. I carry that loss. Its been four years and it still feels like yesterday when they were taking him away. It still feels the same way every time I remember about dad.
It was any other rainy day for everyone who didnt know my dad. But for me, it was a glimpse of hell. My screams still echo in my ears. I screamed to drown the cries of others who were mourning for my father. As if they knew what I was feeling. As if anyone could ever know that they not only took the body of my father but also a part of my soul.
Dad was different. I am like him in so many ways. It makes me proud and it hurts me too. I dont really say it but I miss him every day. I feel more alone with each day passing. I miss dad a lot.
I wont write any poetry for him this year. He’s gone. My life is a consequence of his death.
I am experiencing mixed feelings today. This weekend is my sister’s wedding and its my dad’s death anniversary too. I am happy and sad too. I dont know what to feel so I will just cry a little and go to bed.