Finding Your Lines

Music and songs are a therapy these days. It gives us an opportunity to excape from our lives; just a small relief in a rough day. We all connect to some songs in a much deeper and more thoughtful way. We feel those songs reflect us and our lives as it unfolds. Some lyrics bring out the best of our feelings, a steady catharsis of our emotions.
Some songs touch our hearts. They live in our playlists way longer than necessary. Every time we sing along; if we miss a line, we rewind and play it again to sing it perfectly.
Some songs bring tears to our eyes by the music, the instrumental chords hitting right at the chords of our hearts.

My taste in music is very, very diverse. I listen to all kinds of songs; not just one genre but a few songs from each.
There is one particular Bollywood song that will live with me forever as it reflects the very core of my being. I will write it down here with word to word translation so you will understand why I love this song.
I dont know the name of the movie or its story. Its just a song for me with lyrics which best describe me.
Here goes …

Itna Na Mujh Se tu Pyaar Bhada Ki Mai Ik Baadal Aawara

Dont get so attached to me, dont love me this much
For I am just a wandering solitary cloud

Kaise Kisi Ka Sahara Banun Ki Mai Khud Beghar Bechara

How can I ever become anyone’s support when I myself am homeless and pitiable.

Mujhe Aik Jagah Aaraam Nahi
Ruk Jana Mera Kaam Nahi
Mera Saath Kahan Tak Dogi Tum
Mai des vides ka banjara

I dont stay at one place, I am not stable. There is nothing that can hold me to anyone. I dont stop. I move on and that is my job in this world.
How long are you ready to follow me and be my companion before you give up?
As I belong neither here in my own hometown nor any foreign country.

Kyu Pyar Mai Tu Naadaan Bane
Ik Paagal Ka Armaan Bane

Why are you being so foolish and stubborn in love for a mad person?
Why are you trying to fit in my life when I have nowhere to take you to?

I omitted some lines as they dont go with me. These lines do. I cannot explain why I feel these lyrics define me but they do. They explain me perfectly.
There are people in my life who dont understand me. Even if I was 100% honest, people still think there’s  something I am hiding. Its quite hilarious.
Life plays treacherously so tread very carefully.

In Your Eyes

In your eyes, I saw my reflection
A perfect painted picture of me; flawless and sparkling.
Adored and loved, filled with the colours of ecstacy.
I was raised up and above
To new heights of worship.
In your eyes.

In your eyes, I was the one
Who held you by the palm of her hand
I twisted and you turned
Utter devotion clear from your face
Ready to sacrifice everything.
In your eyes, you held dear.

But in your eyes, I saw that doubt
A seed of which was planted by them
I saw myself falling
From the clouds and into the dust
Heart breaking into thousands of tiny pieces
Like scattered dew drops in a certain fresh morning
Tears that came were marked false
The pain on my face was called fake
In your eyes.

In those eyes, I let myself die.
I let my empty eyes stay awake
I found no help in those eyes
Who once promised a life long sail
Those eyes rejected my truth
Accepted the lies
I saw trust in those eyes but not for me
I was rediculed
I was tarnished forever, called a liar
By those eyes.

Common Sense

We all grow up. We change. Every minute detail about us changes with time. We no longer resemble who we were last year. I just realised this and then I realised that I haven’t updated my “About Me” page in quite a while. I have changed a lot since I last edited it. So from now on, I will write a new “About Me” each year, highlighting the changes in me and what hasn’t  changed at all. 

I really like this idea. Kudos to me!

Dear Love

“Look at me, my love!”
A soothing velvety voice asked
Like the water flowing from the brooke,
Striking the stones and dying with the muddy edges.
So soft, so alluring
Love couldn’t help but look up
From her window.
Into the dark night
A part of it, The voice.
Straining to hear more of the voice which seemed to give her wings
She waited.

“Dear Love! If I say I love you, would you care to believe me?”
She smiled at the dark night and nodded.
She couldnt find words; Her mobility impaired by the romance of her love.
“Oh Dear! But would you not ask me why?”
Continued the voice, almost a whisper now.
Love was too bold and trusted her love
She shook her head with certainty.

A cry of pain was heard like never before
And the voice broke out into a dirge
“Dear Love, what would I do without you?
I am yours but I feed on you too!
I am selfish and I lure you
Each time, every time!
I speak words coated with honey
You succumb to my seduction
How noble your soul is!
Even after my treachery, you hold me dear!
The people abuse you so! They accuse you!
I swear I laugh at you then
A disgusting, ugly laugh
Yet when I come to you for another heart, in exchange to my suger coated false words of love
You give in!
I make you weak.
You give in every heart that loves
I hold it in my dark palm
And I crush it while you beg for mercy.
Do I listen to you?
I rejoice in your tears, my love!
As you break and wan, I fly off into sunrise
Another dawn breaks another heart you possess.
Dear Love! I break your hearts
Each time, every single time!
You fix them, but they never stay whole
Chips and pieces fall here and there
They cry, you cry!
I laugh! Thats what I do!
Yet you still love me unwaveringly?”

Tears trickling down her face
Love bowed her head.
If only she was allowed to speak
She would speak her heart out!
There were people with her answers but
No one was bold enough!
No one was brave enough!
No one loved enough!