A Little Too Much


I am actually laughing right now. Strangely, I am having an out-of-body experience right now. In a haze I suppose. What am I? A robot? Since morning, I gave two healthy classes. I still have 3 classes and I skipped school as I was supposed to have an extra class too but the teacher rescheduled it. In short, I wasted my half day. I will get a good lecture on skipping two days of school in a row. Tomorrow is a saturday! Who goes to school on saturday ?!?!? Me ! 😦
Anyways, I gotta finish a lot of pending work from my many tuitions. Gotta get back to work!

I love you blog. You keep me sane.

Have a good day. 🙂

Shifa Naseer

Snowfall At Night 2


Due to many requests from my followers and friends who read my blog, to extend my poem “Snowfall at night”
https://shifanaseerpoems.wordpress.com/snowfall-at-night/
I finally decided to write more.
Here goes …

The wait was over as the world slowly turned white
Flawless and clear, reflecting her face
Finally, finally he came back
Bowed down at her side, glancing at her lifeless form
He held that hand which had gone limp
It was icy cold, but he held on
He cried for his folly, he cried with his head hung low
He howled into the silent, white night
And looked out the same window
Tears falling without a break, he stared at the falling flakes
Oh how he burned with pain
How he was scorched by its intensity
He had made her wait
Wait for him, for them
While she decayed right in front of his sorry eyes.

Shifa Naseer

Leap Of Faith


She was broken on the inside but she kept on smiling
Her paths filled with thorns but she never winced
She never asked for support or sympathy
What did she do if not cry out in pain?
She endured through the years, bearing the separation
Holding on to her tiny hope
Her prayer, her living substance
Her leap of faith
She helped others who fell and gave up
She loved those who had nothing but hate in their hearts
She cared for everyone but Alas!
No one cared for her.
She was ignored, she was denied
Kept away from all joy, made to crave all from the outside
She never complained you see
Never let the hurt resurface
All she had was her leap of faith
Which she never let anyone know and neither dared to shake
You wonder what her leap really was?
I dont know.
She was way too complicated a labyrinth
And kept herself in her coccoon
No one deserved to know her
No one had the right to her leap of faith
No one!

I want that leap too. .. 🙂

Shifa Naseer

Using The Last Of What I Have


There was once a time when I would’ve loved to have a schedule which I have now. I leave home at 6:30 am in the morning and actually ( without exaggeration) enter home at 6:30 pm in the evening. I juggle around 5 classes at tuitions per day with a 6th class on weekends. Right now, I have tears in my eyes as I struggle to write this post. I am on the verge of breakdown. My original plan was to wear myself down so I would not ‘think’ about all that haunts me but its actually making me live my nightmare. Its too hectic for me. As they say “be careful what you wish for”.

No time to breathe
All I do is run
From the world, from myself
I hide behind the busy
I cringe away, unable to face
While I wear myself down
To a point where I am flat on the ground …
#suffering
#almost dead
#nearing a massive breakdown
#fed up me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;(

Shifa Naseer

My Pain, My Gain


Life offers pain generously
And I being what I am, take it all in willingly
Surrendering to the forces that threaten to break me
Yet I enjoy the pain I feel

Teaching me to endure, to test my limits
As I realise my addiction
I feel and I hurt, but still carry

The load, the burden, the pain
A reminder of the constant dull ache
All the while putting up a smile which is so fake
My pain is what I gain from fate

What I use, what I believe to be true
Hating myself for being weak
For taking up pain as my partner

Some sort of forgiveness I seek

But I am denied, time and again

The pleasure of being in melancholy

image

Shifa Naseer

My Picture Perfect


Dreams, imaginations, thoughts so great
My wonderings take a toll on me
I ache and I wait
For my imaginations to take shape
One day will come when I will be free
Free to rejoice the freedom spree
My perfect picture becoming clear
Which, in my heart, I hold so dear
A garden full of lush, green grass
With birds singing with the wind
Trees, busy, swaying in their rhythm
Seems like hugging and reuniting with their kin
Mad with joy, smiles so wide
I cant help but beam back
As I hum along with the breeze
Dancing, swaying and tapping my feet
That, my friend is the picture I dream of
That is my thought which I imagine
A place of purity, away from any sin

image

Shifa Naseer