About To Reach The First Milestone

Wow! I cannot believe where I have reached these past five years. I started writing from the age of 9 but left off I don’t why! Then I resumed in 2007 when I was 12 years old. After that I left off again in 2008. I hardly wrote a poem in 2008 or 2009. But I resumed with full force in 2010 after Dad’s death. My poems gained momentum and weight. They became more serious and emotional, full of anger, pain and vengeance. I am proud of where I stand today. I can truly say that I have evolved. I have 11 followers for my blog and I really thank all those who take the time to read what I have written. But now, I am about to cross my first milestone. I have to write 9 more poems to complete my first ever century of poems. I recently wrote my 91st poem “It will never be okay”. And hope that I finish off those remaining 9 as soon as possible so that I can proudly say that I did my century too. 😛
I haven’t posted the poems which I had written before 2008 because they are not worth posting here. 😉 I don’t want to insult myself now do I ?
So pray and hope that I make my first century this october. 🙂
*Fingers crossed*


Power of Imagination

We all have imagination power. Some possess it stronger than others. Imagination is an entirely different world which we create for ourselves featuring our wishes, our fantasies, our fears and horrors! A place where everything is possible, the best of miracles as well as the worst of nightmares. Imagination has no reins. It is as free as air! It flows without any bondage all the while spreading its arms wide. 🙂

Let me speak frankly, I have a very strong imagination power. I imagine so many things both good as well as bad. Let me tell you one of the products of my imagination.
I was doing my homework and as usual I wasn’t concentrating. My mind wandered and I started to spin a situation. During those days we were very busy with the teacher’s day show and as such we used to stay up in the auditorium all day long. It was so tiring! Anyways, I began to imagine

what if I get so tired that I fall asleep in the auditorium. What if noboby notices me and school day gets over?  What if they all leave without me? I get stuck in the auditorium. There’s no one to hear me. It starts getting dark! And it freaks me out!

I snapped out of my reverie and turned to my brother jamie. I told him if I don’t come home from school, please look in the school auditorium! I might be there! He burst out laughing when I explained the whole situation that I imagined.
I cannot help it! I believe we should always be ready for any odd situation. Its only being careful, right ?
Once I imagined that I get lost. You don’t know how much annoyed I got while trying to find my way home. In reality I was sitting in my room but I was finding my way home. *shaking my head*.
Nobody is as nutcase as I am!
When I was a child, I used to imagine that I found a magical chocolate land where everything used to be made from chocolate. I used to imagine my toothpaste was liquid chocolate. My bed, my pillow, the curtains all made of chocolate! Wow! 😉
So if you guys too have imagining powers, feel free to share your weird imaginations. 😉

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂

Being Absent Minded

This is something which freaks me out a lot! Whenever I am sitting idle or doing some work, I zone out i.e, to say I lose track of where I am and just stare off into space. When I come out of my reverie, I don’t even remember what I was thinking about so intensely. That is a thing to worry about. I do it frequently! I keep staring at the wall and all the time don’t know what I am thinking about or what I am doing! Is that a normal behaviour ?
Like people say “staring at the walls is more interesting while studying”. I may apply the same logic here only I do it even when I am watching a movie or doing something else. It is not only my problem! There must be hell lot many people who do the same. I have a hunch as to why it happens. All those who do this are upset. They don’t really accept that they are upset or sad just because they don’t want their loved ones to worry about them. Slowly slowly, the person starts filling up. I mean how much can a person hold his feelings inside without giving vent to them ? They are bound to crack. Thus, resulting in angry outbursts, apitite loss and ofcourse being lost in space.
In the class, while the teacher is teaching, I swear I don’t even give attention to the first 5 minutes. Its that difficult to hold on to conscious mind. It slips away leaving me dazed. It actually confuses me which irritates me which in turn makes me angry ! Turmoil of emotions! I dont know how to tell them apart anymore.

All Good Things Come To An End

I have no words, none at all to describe how I feel right now. I never felt what I am feeling. I feel whole as well as empty at the same time. I feel whole as I spent a whole day with my friend but I feel empty as she’s leaving again tomorrow. It sucks being left behind while no one to turn to. I never felt more elated than a few hours ago but now I feel like crying! As they say, all good things come to an end. Sigh.
Having no friends is the worst thing that can happen to a person at my stage. My best friend is so close to me yet miles apart. I feel like shouting and cursing and blaming everyone. But still it won’t change the fact that I am alone. Every waking moment, I feel alone. Sigh.
To say goodbye, to bid farewell is the hardest thing a person does. And life makes me say the parting words so many times that it kind of rubs in.
But I still feel the full force or impact if you call it. The hurt, the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness is blinding. It crushes you! And to see people mocking at you for being a little depressed is outrageous. I swear whenever people feel sad, I try to cheer them up. But don’t I deserve the same? Am I not worth it ? Why do people say that they would like to see me cry? Why do they wish to see me so vulnerable? Just because I don’t cry in front of people or make a scene doesn’t mean I don’t feel! I too get hurt! I too feel pain but I don’t show it. That doesn’t give people the right to mock me!
I am polite enough not to retort back. But that does not mean that they will strangle me. They do not get it, do they ? No, they don’t. And why do I still think about their feelings while they crush mine is beyond me.

Posted from Shifa Naseer’s phone 🙂