Restlessness


“I am restless !”. My life is filled with restlessness. i don’t know what I want! I am confused ! I am sure most of you feel the same way ! Let me explain my way !
I feel restless wherever I go ! If, for instance, I am at home, I feel that I must go to school. When I reach school, I immediately wish that I was home and in bed !
If I want something, I will set my mind to it ! If I accomplish it, I regret it !
There is this project coming up that I am responsible for ! I dearly wished to make it. Now that I have got it’s responsibility, I wish I had never taken it !
Do my actions make any sense ?
NO
I am totally fed up with myself ! I don’t know what I want from life anymore !
Until last year I was sure that I want to become an engineer like Dad but now I don’t know whether I am capable of that ! I am not sure what I am going to do !
I wish to believe that everything will be alright but it gets all the more tangled !
No matter how many times I try to sort my life out, it gets all the more confusing !
I know that I have many things to be thankful for and I am ! But there’s this feeling in me which marks me “LOST.”
I am lost ! Lost in the tempest of life.
Don’t ask me for answers for I myself am one BIG question !
Earlier, I felt as if I knew myself but lately I don’t recognize myself anymore. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see whom I want to see. I see an expressionless girl who is tired, annoyed, downtrodden, and simply worn out !
So to sum it all up, I am unstable ! And restless ! Completely restless. I cannot sit at a place for long !
I must move, keep moving ! I feel that if I stop, something will happen ! I don’t know what !
So I try breathing ! Deep breathing !
Does it help ?
NO … :/

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6 thoughts on “Restlessness

  1. relaaaaxxx….i know what you should do, meditate!..it will make you feel better . u’ll be more calm..and about what you want to become , think about that after you pass eleventh grade .. take some time . you cant decide what you want to be in life JUST LIKE THAT..and how do you know ur not capable of becoming an engineer, have u tried it before???

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