The last two years have been very difficult for me and my family.
Dad died on 16th may,2010 ! I wont say that it came as a shock because I kind of already knew that he was going to die but I never accepted the fact. I still have trouble with handling the most dreadful thing that has ever happened to me yet !
The reason I started my blog was just to give vent to my feelings and expressions, just to let others know what I feel. It makes me feel better.
You must have got a bit of what my dad was and what he meant to me through my poems. Let me tell you what he really was.
Dad was the most humble and down to earth person that I knew. Ever since I started calling him Dad, I started to respect him deeply from my heart not just because he was my father but because he had such a personality that a person couldnt help but admire him. He was a PhD from IIT-roorkee in Electrical Engineering. Even from my childhood, I wanted to be like him in every respect. He used to write as well so I too started writing from the age of 8. What I used to write was rubbish but a beginning. My dad was my inspiration for my poetry. He himself used to write poems during his college years. He never told me! It was only after his death that I got to know about it. I found a poem written by him in his documents. It was about his University i.e. IIT-Roorkee. I will post that poem someday on my blog. Most of the poems that I have written in this blog are written after his death! His death left me cold from inside. I lost my inspiration like an abandoned ship without an harbour. Still I take comfort from the fact that I have his memories, his words of wisdom with me. These things help me through life.
Dad was a professor and an HOD (Head of department) in NIT-Srinagar. I used to go there with him when I was a child and when he wasn’t feeling well. I used to enjoy going there. It used to feel like home but now it is a college just like any other. I lost a lot when dad died. I still am realizing how much I am still losing. No measure of time can help me overcome the blow which his death gave me and my family. His death wasn’t the first one in our family. Before Dad, my aunt (maasi) and my grandmother also died because of cancer.
Dad’s last days were made perfect by my mother. My mother made sure that each and every wish of my Dad would be fulfilled. When the doctors gave up hope on Dad’s treatment, Mom brought him home and gave him the last best days of his life with his family. Dad was alright until the last day of his life. On the morning of 16th May, 2010, Dad started having breathing problem. We got the oxygen cylinder and everything to make it easier for him. Everyone knew in their hearts that Dad was taking his last breaths but no one spoke about it. The whole day there was tension in the house. People coming and going but all was quiet, like the calm before the tempest. His breath left his body at 10:45 pm. We sat with him the whole night, lamenting and crying. One of the worst nights of my life. I remember every tiny detail perfectly. Sigh !
The days gone by wont come again. We can never have what we want. This is my Dad, one of the best people I have ever known