Its dark and cold
Chill has spread to my soul
My heart has frozen due to monotony
I have a goal, a destiny to my name
But it seems too far, too dark, too distant
For me to cover up, to fight the mist
I am blind to what is around me
I seem to be lost
I have no direction and no flame to survive
I stand rigid and cold
Exposed to the very dark world
I try to ignite
And fall back
To my initial state
There is no path
There is no way
I stand alone
A willing prey
I am trying and trying hard here
But I dont seem to move
For the chill has spread to my whole body
Its dark and cold
One day I will leave
Then you will know
What I was, what could’ve been
How life would’ve turned out
With me by your side
But now I wont stay
It will be too much for me to delay
To get up and just leave
Everything behind me.
It will come crashing down
Your balance, your equilibrium
There will never come a time when you will feel whole
You will beg for me, you will die
Life will be awkward, everything a blur
Someway along the way I will make you realise
That you will not survive
Yaay. Migrating to jammu for the winter. I am on the way there right now.
I love change of place!!
Finally I am back home.
As they say, home is where the heart is
But I say, Home is where mommy is.
I had so much fun in Delhi but coming home made me realise I’d rather hang out with Mom.
Missed home a lot.
But I miss Delhi too.
All good things come to an end.
Also the cafe there wasnt bad. “Eatopia”. Lol. I didnt like the doughnut :/
But the coffee was good.
I travelled in metro today. Walked around the Cannaught place. It was a good day.
Lol. I am acting as a potrait. Since there was a window in the wall. I dont really have much interest in shopping so this is what I was doing exactly.
Dont tell mommy. *Po style*
Cant remember that detail
Though I remember the night
I saw you there on the balcony
Things seemed pretty lively
Chatting away you stood a few feet from me
Wearing a black tuxedo, you looked good
Lean and tall
I kept staring but you never turned
I looked at your chest pocket
And the handkerchief attracted me so
But I cannot recollect if it was red
Bright and fiery, like the sun
Or was it blue
Like the calm blue waters of the oceans
I just couldnt remember
What was it?
I just couldnt let go.
Today we went to Pragati Maidaan. It was amazing! The variety and the different states were awesome!
I really am getting older and older. So tired. Cant walk properly
Speaking of that, my brother looks like a Pinochio in this picture :p
South Indian food with different varieties of Dosa!
I wouldve loved to upload the dosa pics but i swear i forgot the blog and even my name when the food was put on the table. I gobbled it all up … And later realised I shouldve taken pictures. This one is when we all had finished eating.
I felt I kind of expanded. Hahaha
Then Ice cream … Big hot chocate fudge!!! *tired*
Here there everywhere.
Sitting in Starbucks again. Alone. For hours. Writing your musings in your new diary. You got your phone and ipaad with you. Earphones plugged in and having a raspberry chocolate pastry. That, my friends, is what we call spending time with yourself.
At kfc. My favourite place on earth.
Filling the feedback form.
The Crossword Bookstore. I liked it but I didnt find books of my liking there. Still I got a new calligraphy pen there.
Starbucks coffee :p
I had a good day in the mall.
The reason why I havent been active on my blog is that I had exams for the past two months and as soon as my exams were over, I went to delhi. So currently I am in Delhi and I am posting from here on the couch, in the living room at Kailash Hills, New Delhi. Today I went to Humayun’s Tomb with my cousins and it was quite an experience. My cousins want my trip to go amazing and so far it looks quite promising.
That is me in front of the monument. It was so beautiful and I know I look quite excited because I was.
This picture is very memorable indeed. These are my cousins. I am the third in the line.
This was the end of our sight seeing. The door was so freaking heavy, I couldnt move it and so I am just posing to open it.
All in all, a very good day with family and I really am thankful for all of them.
If asked to pick
I would pick leaves
Those lush green leaves, those supporting leaves
The feel, the soul of spring, the non betraying shade
The forever commitment to die before betrayal
They hang on till they wither’
Till life is gradually sucked out of them and they are swept with the wind
Away from their beloved, away from everything they ever lived for
Withered, exiled away to the cold, hard ground
The world never cares, crushes and treads on them
But they are dead, their hearts broken.
The feel has left their body
They are dead, their stories forgotten
But those who love know their love
The feel, the feelings, the heartbreak
The endless waiting, the futile efforts
The rejection, the still blossoming love
That threatens to never fade, to stay throughout the summer
Create an atmosphere which is surreal
The time of love till it passes
Thats when the hearts break, when the first leave hits the ground
After falling from the heights of love
To the depths of heartbreak
So I choose leaves, my leaves, the green leaves.
She was small, she was light
She had somewhat a little plight
All those who saw her
All those who knew her
Let her go, let her bleed
She was one
And one of a kind
Yet they threw her away
Oblivious to her, totally blind
She was white and she could fly
But too afraid.
What if she died??
All she had ever heard was scorn
All she ever felt was thorn
But she knew her aim was high
She had it in her to fly, that no one could deny
She was free to go
To move, to let them know
Once she shook off the dust from her wings
And took flight
Starting falling down
And suddenly Soaring High
Defying gravity, the laws of nature
She flew and crossed the horizon line
She never looked back
As she had found her place
Where she belonged
Where she shone!
This is really cool. You guys should try it out. I like this site.
Asking any damn question to anyone with full surity of anonymity
Its been two years since I started blogging. I cannot believe my blog has grown since! I love this blog. Without it, my life is incomplete. A diary/journal/ best friend/ social site/ thought-to-be-noted/ everything one could ask for in the cyber world.
Happy Birthday http://www.shifanaseerpoems.wordpress.com
Dont ask me if I am upset
For I wont tell you
I vowed to shut down
And so I did
No matter how much you ask
I wont tell you
For I promised never to say
To let you take control
Blow my words away like dust
But you dont see
Still no worries!
Just dont ask me
Dont act you care
For I will lie
Yes I will lie
If you ask me,
I wont tell you
So dont ask me again
Changed for better
Changed for worse
I burned my ground
I snapped your crown
Dismounted you from my list
Learned not to be sad about it
I stopped caring
Grew apart from you
You may not know this
You are too busy in your own
Changed my schedule
I changed my habits
Sorted out my priorities
And you didnt make it in the list
So I changed
But you dont see
I changed for you
I changed for me
Straightened out my life
Starting taking a path away from you
Yes I changed but you dont see
That I have changed and I am no longer me!
Dont ever cry
No, no crying wont do
Its just another sign of how much they hurt you
You pretend, you show, you are all right
You can distract, you can laugh right in front of their sight
Take revenge, you say?
I dont have a dark side
Devil is not in me that I ruin others
Rejoice if they may in my misery
I still wont lash out, I still wont stand up
I choose silence to sound
Loneliness to love
Redeem to revenge
Pleasure to pain
No dark side, the evil mind
I cant hurt you
I cant do it!
I will always stand high
No matter the stones in my paths
The stabs on my back or the wrongs done in my favor
I had a heart but now its just a pump
Oozing blood with each thump!
Now I dont care
Now I no longer expect
I learned to live alone
With me, with myself as company.
One tempest is enough
What we knew
What we believed
One tornado of events
Enough to blow away
The foundations of stone
Of human love
One tsunami of tears
Enough to wash away
To wash it all away
Never to be gathered and made into one
All the tornados and the tempests and the tsunami
Could never move me
I was strong and I was holding on
You broke all my bonds
You let me slip and you let me slide
Gathered in a corner
You watched me die
Blown by the tornado
Drowned by the tsunami
Swept away by the tempest
Where I could no longer breathe
I lamented my broken bonds
Our broken lives
Each precious as a pearl
Handed over to nature
Who broke and swept and drowned them all
Broken lives we now live
Empty shells that do not give.
The more you try to better the world, the more this world thinks that they are better off without you.
Your laugh, it makes me smile
You cries, it kills me inside
Your smile, it lights up my world bright
Your voice causes the butterfly effect
I know its you
And I think you know it too
I believe it, I am pinning my hopes on it
You are my soulmate
You are me!
Our bond, stronger than the gravity pull
Brighter like the moon when it is full
The countless stars are witness
Of my sufferings
Of my love for you
They do not tell, they do not share
But we have this secret to ourselves
You do not know
But I do
You a my soulmate
I am sure of it too
But you hurt me, you try to run away
You apologise but does that matter?
The pain doesnt leave me
The wounds you give, the ever bleeding wounds!
Makes me question my faith
Makes me doubt on what I truely believe
How can you be my other half?
How can you hurt me?
Do soulmates do that?
For you sure do it!
And always will!
The end to my meager faith.
You let go of my hand
It was outstretched in the wind
As I stood on the desert sand
I couldnt lower my hand,
I couldnt let go of you
I was pushed and I was pulled
I was alone but in my own
The crowd was mean,
They hurt me
Still my hand, outstretched
Kept searching for solace
All I found were mean glances
Taunting and hurting
Strangers who were family
But acted far from it
Like the solid sun in the sky
Like the moon in the confines of the night
Like the lone cloud on a bright day
Like the last flower about to wither away
I stood among strangers, among family
Learning to live alone.
Echoes of my own voice
Drowned the mean, venomous cries
I stood alone with hand outstretched
Seeking comfort, seeking help
Looking for you, looking for myself.
“How did that happen?”
“Dunno. Time does stuff like that.”
“Behind your back?”
“That’s a bugger.”
“… and you don’t even notice…”
A friend paid me the compliment the other day of asking if I had reached fifty yet. My son almost immediately disposed of any lingering glow I might possibly have been basking in from that with his horrified expression when he too had asked to be reminded of my age.
Night fell and I made my way
To heaven, to your home a few blocks away
I threw pepples at your closed window pane
Something tells me you are awake
And just deciding whether to look
I wait patiently and you stick your head out
I gesture with hands to let me in
You decline with a firm whispered no, at first
I try again, widening my smile doublefold
You melt with it, and open the latch
I climb up the ladder and take hold of the catch
Jump inside with a triumphant squeal
You jump and run to lock the door
Hearts beating fast
We stare and we laugh
Till the early hours of dawn
When I take my que to leave
You frown and stare at the floor beneath
I smile and blow you a kiss and jump
Into the lawn
I promise you another night
Like the one we just had
I run and vanish in the wind
You sigh and sit on the sill and sing
Nothing can lift me tonight
For tonight my soul took off
My body died
And my heart cried out
The cry of pain
Of enduring beyond limits
Abandoned by soul
Left by my host
I stand alone
In this game of thorns
Took off, left my side
For something better in his eyes
Never looked back
At my soulless body
As I lay, broken
In the game.
Look her in the eye and try
To see the depths
The inside of her soul
Tell me if you find the end
To her inner world
Look at her face, observe her smile
See the muscles crunched up in pain
Trying to chase the tears away
Tell me do you see termination to the endless smile?
Do you see the tear on her beautiful cheeks?
When I tell you to see
Do you just see or do you really look
The way her back is bent
As if she carries the world
The way her head is bowed
The way her heart was broken
Mercilessly torn apart
Do you see her life
Do you see her?
Find me a heart that can love
That can love beyond boundaries
Bound to be limitless
Something which goes deep, down to the bottomless pit
Like the light to light up the way
Like the shine to brighten up the day
Find me a soul that is so pure
That they fall to their feet
Bow their heads in such purity
A soul with love so hard, so intense to give
That I bathe in its glory
That I let it sink into me
Find that heart with such a soul
Together they will make me whole
Love so true, soul so pure
I wish to die wrapped around it
Warming my heart, removing the doubts
A heart that can love, a soul I can cherish
To be mine forever
As I wish this wish to the silver star
Which seems so near yet so far
Today I made my last speech as Head Girl of my school. It feels so weird to know that I wont hold that mic again and that I wont ever deliver a speech like I have done for the past three years in a row. It was Teacher’s Day today and we had prepared a programme for them. I was supposed to give the final vote of thanks. As I was giving my speech, I felt as if a part of me was lost. Sigh. I wont miss school but I am going to miss things like these. I love to speak publicly, on a mic, with an audience. Long live my school.
Also I would like to wish all the teachers out there a very HAPPY TEACHER’S DAY. You all make our lives a living hell in school but help us so much that we cannot thank you guys enough. The love you give and the unwavering devotion through the years of adolescence is truly remarkable.