I stand straight, like a wall in the alley
I dont break, I seldom shake
My roots are deep, the wounds still weep
But I stand strong, I still hold on
Beyond the joy and sadness
I stay away from what makes me weak
My image reflects in the mud puddle, right there
I see only the bricks and the sand
Standing mighty tall and blunt
Pushing the wind back where it comes from
I dont let anything cross my path
Invincible! I am The Wall.
Standing erect and too mighty and tall.
I was built to keep you off
I keep you away alright
But shes lonely, the one who hides behind me.
She half wishes that I never was
But she knows I protect, I save her from the outside winds
The coarse sand that scratches her soul
I save her. I take all the blows.
Sometimes she knocks and tries to break me.
Other times the winds just go crazy.
To let her out, to let her breathe in the open air.
But little does she know how hard it is to survive.
How much hurt is beyond my boundaries.
So I let her scream. I let her shout.
I dont budge, I dont give her a way out.
Her soul has to be saved.
I was built to protect. I was built to keep her tucked away.
But she’s too naive. She’s too small.
To be alone out there.
Past the wall is just you.
My little prisoner. I will save you.
I stand straight, like a wall in the alley
I blame no one, I blame only you. Even if it sounds unreasonable and childish, I still blame you!
Its all your fault! If you hadnt left right when I needed you the most, I may have gotten a chance to choose my path. I wouldve been able to decide what I really want in life without being afraid of being told off or criticized.
You and I both knew what I wanted.
You were the only One who valued the writer in me.
No one gives a damn anymore to what I write.
Can you believe no one in the family reads what I write?
Yeah thats my life.
Had it not been for you, I wouldnt have been so bitter, so withdrawn from everyone.
Why did you leave?
I cannot explain how much I feel your absense these days.
I dont like the fact that you left me here. You left me when I needed you the most!!!!
I am angry. I am annoyed.
Its all your fault.
They are hurting me.
You cant help me.
Why did you go?
Why cant you be with me?
Sigh. How much will I beg?
I know you cant be here.
But the little girl in my wants you here, Dad!
I needed you now.
I needed you here so you could help me without anyone trying to bring me down.
Everyday I think, If you were here, this wouldve been like this, that wouldve been different. I only say “if”. Now I hate the word “If”. It makes me angry knowing “If” can never be.
I intended to deshape, to destroy, spin your life out of control
Never did I imagine that you wont raise a single protest
Not a moan will escape your lips
Not once will you complain
I planned to destroy your reasoning, your mental balance, your emotional range
You were supposed to break
Into a thousand pieces and
Each piece was supposed to turn
To dust and washed away with the tide
But yet here you are, like statue, like stone
I watch you with curiosity as moss gathers at your feet
You refuse to let go, I refuse to back off
How can I hurt you now when
I know that I am the one who gives you life?
How far can I go to destroy your will, your love for me?
I have ways to destroy your source of eternal bliss
Now you know how far I can go?
I can go far. Way too far.
Too far that not even my name shall remain.
My destruction will lead to your end.
And you will perish and you will cry.
I will not look but I will rejoice.
O Traveller, wherever you go, wherever you stay
No matter how far, no matter how long
You will miss your home
Where you are known to dwell
You will end up where You began
Your home, where your heart finds peace.
I am home again! Back to srinagar after 4 months! Feeling elated!
Where I see my end, I see your beginning.
You keep searching yet you never see
You never see the odds against the veils
Yet I stand and give you direction
You do not see me
You dont give me another thought
I walk with you despite your choice
When I know I can break free
You hold me down and cage me
Laughter bubbles out from me at the irony of life
You refuse to let go while I cant wait to break free
To let go of all the burdens I carry for you
And to set sail out in the open sea
Time may pass or it may fly
You had me, took me for granted
Now I am gone, but you cant carry on
I laugh and laugh and laugh.
Till eyes are filled with tears
For you and for me
For what couldve been and what could never be
Somewhere there will be a light which will give me peace
I have found my release
That is my end, That is your beginning.
Beginning of a new struggle.
Without me, alone you got to walk.
Till your will breaks, the strings of your soul vibrates!
Now I may be talking abstract but plain words can never describe
What I hold inside
How I build for years and how you blew it all away
It took you seconds to destroy everything.
It took me eternity to fix each bit.
The scars, the cracks remain
No matter how hard I try.
I feel failure leaking through
Poisoning me, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth
As I spit and gag to let go of all that
I feel bound and nauseaus
Yet I laugh and Laugh and Laugh.
Just as the walls around a cavity
Like the bars of the prison
Just like a well with a deep down level
Just like a heart of a shattered soul and a preserved body
Same as the pieces of that heart
Same as the broken pieces of glass
Echoes the epitome of silence
The eternity filled with the deaf moment
Like the never ending deserts of Sahara and Arabia
The endless and stretched out pacific round the globe
I hear the echoes, the shattering cries of those
The pieces and the emptiness
The agony, the silence
Eating away any capacity for feelings
Rusting away in the empty corridors of time
Of your voice filled with love
Found from my feeble memories
As the nameless voice used to call my name
Ringing around my heart
Echoing through my soul
The voice, your voice
Mixed with pain, loss and tragedy
Found from the feeble memories
Of the way you used to call out to me.
As the winds blow from here to there
The blades follow and rotate
I stand in their path and they whoosh past me
I am scared and terrified as they threaten me
Yet I cant find the will to move
Their blades cut through me
Tear me, torture me.
I scream, I shout
I am caught in the onslaught
The mills go as far as I can see
The blades standing out
The wind feeding them speed
I cut, They slash through me
Blood gushes out like rivers from me
I feel the pain, the sensations leaving me
As I run through the mills
The blades cutting through me
The winds feeding their bloodlust
Giving them speed.
Smiling as another phase passes by.
I passed My 12th board results with distinction.
I feel I could do better but Maths Tragedy pulled me down. Anyhow, I am thankful and grateful to Almighty that I passed this phase of life smoothly.
I look forward to my college life with good hopes.
Beyond the ups and downs, we find a path that is warmly lit.
I stand by my words, I stand by you
Your reflection, your shadow, Its true!
You hurt, I hurt.
But I never show.
You bleed blood, I bleed tears.
You walk a different walk
A parallel universe
Yet somehow, somewhere our paths cross
We fight, our mountainous egoes clash!
Like thunder, like storm we link!
From two different worlds, seconds away from destruction!
We tend to destroy
Like two sides of a coin.
Different yet so alike.
I imagined you, you came to life. Same as ever.
A dream I had. A fantasy I spinned.
A support I asked. And You were found.
I saw you then. And I see you now.
No common ground and yet we stand
Not holding, not even trying
Still we stand
Stand face to face
Fighting battles of our own
To please, to be there in the moment
Unique it is.
Imagination coming to life.
A few day, a large magnitude
Fire in my heart, blazing my insides
I dare not look, I dare not open my eyes
For my hand is on fire
And I hold nothing but my heart in my hand
I feel the heat, I smell the burns
I see it and yet I dont see anything at all.
I refuse to take any step for I fear the fire will go out
I will once again be cold and worn out
If my heart is the price I have to pay.
So be it that way.
I will burn my heart for the warmth I feel
Just for a little while it will make me believe
That sun will rise again
The the darkness would mingle with the light
And make my world shiny just for a little while.
There is light and there is dark
There is day and there is night
There is sun and it is so bright
Then the moon with its majestic light
Fragrance of those flowers in the meadow
Wet due to the early glistening dew
Also the colours that we see
Makes me realise where we all would be
Had the trees not sustained us
Had the nature not been so nurturing
Heart and its vices, less virtues
Hurts other hearts too
Foegetting that hearts cannot be replaced
Like the sun is one
And the moon is one
Like the fragrance is unique
Heart and its emotions, so silly it seems
But it equally hurts, it equally makes you want to rip it out.
Some things are important in life
They cant be replaced
Treasure those things for they may pass
Leaving behind the barren lands
The lands that once were lusciously green
Its dark and cold
Chill has spread to my soul
My heart has frozen due to monotony
I have a goal, a destiny to my name
But it seems too far, too dark, too distant
For me to cover up, to fight the mist
I am blind to what is around me
I seem to be lost
I have no direction and no flame to survive
I stand rigid and cold
Exposed to the very dark world
I try to ignite
And fall back
To my initial state
There is no path
There is no way
I stand alone
A willing prey
I am trying and trying hard here
But I dont seem to move
For the chill has spread to my whole body
One day I will leave
Then you will know
What I was, what could’ve been
How life would’ve turned out
With me by your side
But now I wont stay
It will be too much for me to delay
To get up and just leave
Everything behind me.
It will come crashing down
Your balance, your equilibrium
There will never come a time when you will feel whole
You will beg for me, you will die
Life will be awkward, everything a blur
Someway along the way I will make you realise
That you will not survive
Yaay. Migrating to jammu for the winter. I am on the way there right now.
I love change of place!!
Finally I am back home.
As they say, home is where the heart is
But I say, Home is where mommy is.
I had so much fun in Delhi but coming home made me realise I’d rather hang out with Mom.
Missed home a lot.
But I miss Delhi too.
All good things come to an end.
Also the cafe there wasnt bad. “Eatopia”. Lol. I didnt like the doughnut :/
But the coffee was good.
I travelled in metro today. Walked around the Cannaught place. It was a good day.
Lol. I am acting as a potrait. Since there was a window in the wall. I dont really have much interest in shopping so this is what I was doing exactly.
Dont tell mommy. *Po style*
Cant remember that detail
Though I remember the night
I saw you there on the balcony
Things seemed pretty lively
Chatting away you stood a few feet from me
Wearing a black tuxedo, you looked good
Lean and tall
I kept staring but you never turned
I looked at your chest pocket
And the handkerchief attracted me so
But I cannot recollect if it was red
Bright and fiery, like the sun
Or was it blue
Like the calm blue waters of the oceans
I just couldnt remember
What was it?
I just couldnt let go.
Today we went to Pragati Maidaan. It was amazing! The variety and the different states were awesome!
I really am getting older and older. So tired. Cant walk properly
Speaking of that, my brother looks like a Pinochio in this picture :p
South Indian food with different varieties of Dosa!
I wouldve loved to upload the dosa pics but i swear i forgot the blog and even my name when the food was put on the table. I gobbled it all up … And later realised I shouldve taken pictures. This one is when we all had finished eating.
I felt I kind of expanded. Hahaha
Then Ice cream … Big hot chocate fudge!!! *tired*
Here there everywhere.
Sitting in Starbucks again. Alone. For hours. Writing your musings in your new diary. You got your phone and ipaad with you. Earphones plugged in and having a raspberry chocolate pastry. That, my friends, is what we call spending time with yourself.
At kfc. My favourite place on earth.
Filling the feedback form.
The Crossword Bookstore. I liked it but I didnt find books of my liking there. Still I got a new calligraphy pen there.
Starbucks coffee :p
I had a good day in the mall.
The reason why I havent been active on my blog is that I had exams for the past two months and as soon as my exams were over, I went to delhi. So currently I am in Delhi and I am posting from here on the couch, in the living room at Kailash Hills, New Delhi. Today I went to Humayun’s Tomb with my cousins and it was quite an experience. My cousins want my trip to go amazing and so far it looks quite promising.
That is me in front of the monument. It was so beautiful and I know I look quite excited because I was.
This picture is very memorable indeed. These are my cousins. I am the third in the line.
This was the end of our sight seeing. The door was so freaking heavy, I couldnt move it and so I am just posing to open it.
All in all, a very good day with family and I really am thankful for all of them.
If asked to pick
I would pick leaves
Those lush green leaves, those supporting leaves
The feel, the soul of spring, the non betraying shade
The forever commitment to die before betrayal
They hang on till they wither’
Till life is gradually sucked out of them and they are swept with the wind
Away from their beloved, away from everything they ever lived for
Withered, exiled away to the cold, hard ground
The world never cares, crushes and treads on them
But they are dead, their hearts broken.
The feel has left their body
They are dead, their stories forgotten
But those who love know their love
The feel, the feelings, the heartbreak
The endless waiting, the futile efforts
The rejection, the still blossoming love
That threatens to never fade, to stay throughout the summer
Create an atmosphere which is surreal
The time of love till it passes
Thats when the hearts break, when the first leave hits the ground
After falling from the heights of love
To the depths of heartbreak
So I choose leaves, my leaves, the green leaves.
She was small, she was light
She had somewhat a little plight
All those who saw her
All those who knew her
Let her go, let her bleed
She was one
And one of a kind
Yet they threw her away
Oblivious to her, totally blind
She was white and she could fly
But too afraid.
What if she died??
All she had ever heard was scorn
All she ever felt was thorn
But she knew her aim was high
She had it in her to fly, that no one could deny
She was free to go
To move, to let them know
Once she shook off the dust from her wings
And took flight
Starting falling down
And suddenly Soaring High
Defying gravity, the laws of nature
She flew and crossed the horizon line
She never looked back
As she had found her place
Where she belonged
Where she shone!
This is really cool. You guys should try it out. I like this site.
Asking any damn question to anyone with full surity of anonymity
Its been two years since I started blogging. I cannot believe my blog has grown since! I love this blog. Without it, my life is incomplete. A diary/journal/ best friend/ social site/ thought-to-be-noted/ everything one could ask for in the cyber world.
Happy Birthday http://www.shifanaseerpoems.wordpress.com
Dont ask me if I am upset
For I wont tell you
I vowed to shut down
And so I did
No matter how much you ask
I wont tell you
For I promised never to say
To let you take control
Blow my words away like dust
But you dont see
Still no worries!
Just dont ask me
Dont act you care
For I will lie
Yes I will lie
If you ask me,
I wont tell you
So dont ask me again
Changed for better
Changed for worse
I burned my ground
I snapped your crown
Dismounted you from my list
Learned not to be sad about it
I stopped caring
Grew apart from you
You may not know this
You are too busy in your own
Changed my schedule
I changed my habits
Sorted out my priorities
And you didnt make it in the list
So I changed
But you dont see
I changed for you
I changed for me
Straightened out my life
Starting taking a path away from you
Yes I changed but you dont see
That I have changed and I am no longer me!