Gone are the days when I knew my ways
Now I have new roads laid out, new paths to explore
No longer do I know everyone by name
Just strange, new faces, just as confused as my own
New places, new people, I am starting a new life
Filled with new challenges, new authorities, new rules to follow
My heart has questions and I have no answers.
Who is going to guide me when I feel as lost as the shedding autumn leaves?
Pushed from here and there by the naughty east wind.
My limbs are worn out, my will is weak.
I have no strength to hold on, and no stable ground beneath.
After running around the college corridors, I found my class. Its an alright class and I am sitting on the first bench. I dont know anyone and nobody knows me. So instead of sitting idle, I took out my phone to type away on my dear blog.
Let me explain what went on so far.
I woke up on time. I got ready on time. I didnt find my class on time. I felt like an idiot ‘not on time’. I am really nervous. I have a little time to post some things.
The college is nice but I am yet to see what my classmates are like.
I havent met my roommate yet but thats okay. I heard that shes a good person.
Speaking of my room, I spent the first night of my life away from home. It was so awkward for me. And I had a really restless night.
So far its alright but now I am not that sure.
More updates later as the day rolls by.
Happy new days!
I do not pity, I do not bow my head in charity.
Call me heartless, call me mean
To mourn for others, I am not so keen
To grieve for those I know not
Even if I do, I will not fake if I don’t feel sorry
I will, if I can, help to ease out the pain
But I will never stand and watch the funeral.
Pyres burning, graves freshly dug
I am not one who pretends, I am not a thug
I will not stand there and pray for the lost souls
I will not be solemn, I will not be kind
I wont feel guilty if my eyes dont water at somebody else’s misfortune
If I cannot help, I choose to ignore.
I block out the sentiment, I guard my demons.
I do not shed tears that don’t find my heart as their origin
I do not have tears to waste on pretension
I do not give out pity in small packets of sugar coated words
I will be cruel and I will be vicious
But I refuse to be sickly sweet,
Too sweet to give you a toothache
I don’t have fake emotions
Call me heartless, my friend
I take pride in that for I do not give pity
I do not show sympathy.
I cannot help, I block
I block, I turn into myself
I have a heart, too precious for you to see
Thats why I do not show pity, I don’t bow my head in charity.
There will come a moment in your chaotic life when you will lose a puzzle piece of your favourite puzzle game. You will look everywhere for it, try to make a new one or worse pretend that the gaping hole in your puzzle picture isn’t there.
Fair enough, you will start getting used to that hole. That moronic puzzle piece starts fading from your memory. You imagine it there. And it keeps you happy.
Then you find other pieces. They don’t exactly fit but fill the space nonetheless. You succeed into believing that you don’t care. You pretend that the pieces not only fill but they fit too. Pretension is cool. Its safe.
Until you find that original puzzle piece lying carelessly somewhere. And now you don’t know where to fill that puzzle piece. There’s no space for that puzzle piece to go. Its the perfect fit but theres no place for it to fill.
You stare at the puzzle piece and try to think. You remember how much you looked for it, how much you wanted your puzzle to be complete. But now there are different pieces holding your puzzle. But you find the original puzzle piece and now you are confused.
Do you want to lose that puzzle piece all over again?
Do you think you can live with the fact that your puzzle picture can never be perfect?
Are you willing to accept the old puzzle piece and fit it where it belongs?
Its not easy. Its not only a game. Its more than that.
Way more than that.
Doors banging, windows clashing
Curtains blowing, as my cool winds take hold of me
A sudden darkness in the hallways, the spooky whooshing of my winds
I listen for a while as winds find their way into my little cottage
I run out into my garden and jump in glee
The trees welcome me, dancing on the rhythm of my winds
I feel proud as my winds make them bow
Take me away, along your way
On a different path, to a merry place
So I sway in joy, with the leaves and the breeze
The goosebumps on my bare arms, the soothing chill in the air
Makes me calm, makes me want to fly
Along with my winds, go to distant fairy lands
Find my destiny, find me my prince
Round and round I go,
The winds playing with my hair, blowing it away from my face
The gentle tug of the winds on my shirt
I long to embrace them, if only I could hold them
I look up at the tallest trees of them all
Giving me direction, pointing out my way
Someday I will adhere and follow
My winds, leading me to the fairy lands
To find my destiny, to find my prince
Its 3:39 am and the Muezzen has begun calling for Prayer (Azaan) signifying that our Fast ( Not eating or drinking anything from dawn to sunset) has begun.
I was up at 3 am to eat Sehri ( pre dawn breakfast) after which I can eat only after sunset.
This Month is the Holy Month Of Ramzan for Muslims. And I, being a Muslim myself, am up for my first Fast on The first day Of This Holy Month.
At the end of this month, we have our Eid Ul Fitr.
May we all be blessed this month and complete our month of fasting with sincerity and devotion.
The craziness and satisfaction one feels after coming home is too much to handle. My city has the best summer and I feel blessed to be back home even though I am leaving for college next week.
So I feel ecstatic as the wind was blowing around me and I was dancing in my garden!!
HOME sweet HOME