Filters

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I see it all

Life as it unwinds, one curve and another straight road

I see the dark behind the brilliant sun and I see the lining of the silver moon

I see the shadows behind, the bright side of which I reflect in my eyes

You see me smile, you see me green

You dont see the lines, you dont feel me pining away

I wait for you to remove your filters, the sieve that you use to view the world

My world that you see doesnt seem as dark

But I see and I feel for I have no filters

I feel your pain, I witness your struggle

I do understand but why dont you understand me?

You dont see me bleeding out, all you see is the mess I made

That your filters and mine all laid out in black and white

So unfair it is that I see what you dont, that I feel what you never will.

Weighing Us Down

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Phew. My first holiday at home.
And its not good at all.
So many issues. So many problems.
Home isn’t what I left it as two months ago. Its something entirely different.
I dont recognise it.
I feel sad that my uncle is not well.
He is very important to me.
And my thoughts are so jumbled that I cannot form them properly into sentences.
Its melancholic. The atmosphere is sad.
And I am sad.

No need to whine about the problems.
Lets just hope the world makes sense again.
Lets hope that what we lost is recovered. Most of it, if not all.
Lets hope that wherever we go, we stay together.
Lets hope that we all stay healthy and no ailments plague us.
Lets hope that life doesn’t break my back this time.
Lets hope that my fate is kind to me At least this once.
Lets hope that all this doesn’t weigh me down and cripple me.
Lets hope we survive the blows.
Lets hope that our hope never gives way.
Lets hope.

Early Autumn

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Now that I had finally found my peace in the dark realms of life

In the lush green of the trees, in the full bloom of the flowers

Now that summer had made me stable, made me feel comfortable

The wind and the blades of grass, the sharp sunlight and the coolness of the night

Had made me hopeful, had made me serene

I realised as I finally was again able to sleep

But the summer and the gayness, the trees and the direction of the winds

Is changing its course, is turning away from me

The dried tears are falling again, the healing wounds are fresh again

The green leaves and the green grass, all the joy and cheer seems to pass

As the brown leaves fall in my lawn, one by one and many at a time

The winds blow and carry them up to my doorstep, I sigh and sweep them off

I try to keep them at bay, for summer seems to be in a haste

For it seems that we are in for an early Autumn this year

Train Of Thought

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How far are you willing to bend to fate, to destiny? How much longer will the thread of your life to hold? How much are you willing to sacrifice your soul for something as petty as hope?

Its going to break under strain and when it does, I would like to be there to witness such atrocity. I would want to revel in the destruction of those who keep faith. Not that I care about these people. Just looking at the foolish people who deceive themselves throughout their lives and die in the end with nothing but upturned soil called grave as a mark that they once existed. Even that gives way after a few decades.

What is colour to a dying man? What meaning does the blue of the sky hold for a person who is to be engulfed forever in the dark? Nothing whatsoever. He is downtrodden and dejected. He holds nothing but a sad melancholy in his dying heart and will take that heart with its memories to his grave.

Fighting For Dawn

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It seems like the light is gone
Leaving me trembling in the dark
Senses are dulled, even my breathing has slowed
I cant seem to shout out, to gain some weight of reality
It all seems like a dream to me
A dark pit, going down and leading to melancholy
No whispers, no silhouettes, no shadows
Only a dark sense of existence, I hold
I suffer in this dreadful state, I am trapped in my web of memories
Rushing back to me, coming forth with fresh pain and wounds unhealed
I lay in the dark, I listen to my heart
I long for things to go back to normal
For this storm must pass me by without wreaking havoc
Else My sand castle would fall, and the waves would carry me away.

Flood

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I hear the sound, an inkling in the dark

Imminent danger, lurking somewhere my eyes cannot reach

The gates are closed, the walls stand tall

Is it me or I see cracks, the signs that it is all giving way

Giving way to a burden, more than what my body can bear

I hold that thought, I hold myself high

The torment I undergo, Just before the walls fall

I brace myself, I feel the sudden rush

No doubt I am scared, scared of the spirit the flood carries

Like a giant serpent, it makes its way through my gardens of peace

Trampling the flowers of my solace, leaving them nothing less than the weed like menace

Gobbling up the wooden floors of my stability, as I watch the ground disappear underneath me

My heart throbs as it sweeps up everything in its path

Leaving destruction in its wake, declaring an open war

The flood, as it breaks me down, as it tears me apart from what I knew was mine

The flood as it drives me away from what is mine, forcing me to retreat

The flood as it makes me weak, makes me bow down to my vulnerability

The flood as it is, a monstrous and destructive tyrant