The Calm Before The Tempest

Standard

Now that I am here, I have a sense of belonging

I no longer stand out, I no longer have to hold my ground

Here, my stage is set, the path is lit

All I have to do is follow, and always follow through

No urge to flee, I feel a certain sense of calm

My nerves are at rest, I dont grit my teeth

I dont shrink away from others, I dont glance away in fear

It makes me uneasy, this new peace of mine

I feel it after years of turmoil and how is it that it yielded to me?!

I dont trust this feeling, I dont believe this peace

The silence of the raging voice, the eerie calm

Convince me of the imminent storm!

I have no support to hold on, no one to fall back on

I stand alone and even the ground wont hold me for long

The tempest will again ensnare me in my dark place

So damp, so murky, so cold it is

And the thought itself makes me shudder in fear

The fear of the onslaught, the fear of the unknown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HomeSick

Standard

As I toss and turn on a bed which is new for me
Unaware of how many slept in it before me
My fresh new sheets feel coarse to my skin
The pillows too high, the blanket too heavy
Restless, I try to find comfort in my memories
But Alas! They pierce my restless heart without mercy
As I think about the changes of my life
I think about what I left behind
I long for the gentle caress of my mother
The familiar touch, the sensible life
Home seems so far as I look around
The unwelcome, pale yellow of the walls
The dry bulbs with the dry, white, colourless light
I reach out and switch it off
With my cold bed and nothing to calm my nerves
On the verge of breaking down, I pray a silent prayer
The dark room plays tricks on my eyes
I cringe away and hide in my blanket
Its dark and its silent
Its almost as if its holding me down
I realise that I miss the comfort of my mom’s embrace
I shut my eyes and hold myself tight
I think of home, I think of light!

Freedom At Midnight

Standard

Happy Independence Day!!!

20140815-094847-35327436.jpg

On 15th August, 1947, India was free from the hold of The British rule. A proud moment in the history of our country. The Tricolour Indian Flag, Our National Anthem. These are the jewels we carry in our hearts. No one has forgotten the lives that were slain for the sake of freedom of our country.
The patriotism in the heart of an Indian, the love for one’s countrymen, the vigour and unity is unique.

Since then, we have made progress given we have had only 68 years being free.

I learned my National Anthem when I was a child and I remember singing it with full concentration and standing in attention. It used to and still gives me the chills as I sing it for it makes me feel the love of my country flowing in the words which Mr. Rabindranath Tagore wrote.
We once had to make the Tricolour Flag in the School’s Annual Day and I was so proud to be a part of it. I was made to stand in the white strip.

Our National Anthem : Jana Gana Mana

Our National Song : Vande Mataram

Our National Motto : Satya Mev Jayate

Happy Birthday, Pami Khala. 5th August.

Standard

20140805-191915-69555882.jpg

Happy birthday Pami Khala!

Pami Khala was my mother’s elder sister. She was one of the best people I knew. She was as amazing as a person could be. She loved us equally and made us feel special. I have so many memories of her. I still remember her cute hands, her nose ring and the way she used to call her daughter. But as fate had it, she died of cancer in 2008.
Yes, I miss her. We all miss her. My family feels incomplete without her. She was one of the building blocks of our family. Her loss resonated throughout our family and relations. Her death was a tragedy for all those who personally knew her.
Today is her birthday. I still remember her last birthday with us. It was the last get together we had with her. Soon after her birthday in 2008, she was diagnosed with Cancer and within a month, she died.
It is an impossible truth for us. Her death was a blow to our family.
Her kind heart and soul was so valuable and we lost her to cancer.

No, I will not write any poetic lines for her. My grief on her death is far too great to think of some lines.

I still love her. I still miss her even after all these years. Her death left a hole, a gaping hole that still wont stop hurting.
On every occasion, she is being missed. And she will be missed until we live in this world carrying her memories with us. Forever.

Progressive

Standard

Okay. So I like my college library. I finally took the courage to stand in the ever lasting line and I finally made my library card!

20140804-193312-70392954.jpg

That is me standing in the line.
After that I visited the library and I was lost in the smell of the books. The library is cool.
So all in all a very productive day.

20140804-193530-70530899.jpg

Eid Ul Fitr

Standard

Since I made sure that everyone out there knew how lonely I was this Eid, it is only fair that I tell you all how my day went so far.
I woke up late. I had a glass of milk for breakfast ( something that has newr happened in the 19 years of my existence on Eid ). I was feeling very low but soon everyone called me to wish me so I did not feel left out.

Then I went out for lunch. On the way I saw a bookstore and I bought my favourite book ( i wont mention which one. See for yourself 😂 ) and spent my lunch money on it.
Then I went to a cafe and had coffee ( I am not fond of coffee!) while I read my precious book. I sat there for an hour or two. Alone.

20140729-175816-64696247.jpg

20140729-175813-64693459.jpg

20140729-175814-64694742.jpg

All in all, I made the best of this day in my own limits.
Eid Mubarak!

Dear Blog

Standard

My dear blog,

Its Eid tomorrow. I am so far from home and family. It makes me sad to think that I wont be with them on Eid. I never celebrated Eid alone. How can I celebrate Eid alone? The very concept of Eid is to come together and share happiness after fasting for a month!
Its kind of weird. Its silly too that I am thinking so much on this.
I was always a loner but its Eid! And I am alone!

I guess there is no Eid for me this year. 😐

Yours forever alone,
Me.