As I toss and turn on a bed which is new for me
Unaware of how many slept in it before me
My fresh new sheets feel coarse to my skin
The pillows too high, the blanket too heavy
Restless, I try to find comfort in my memories
But Alas! They pierce my restless heart without mercy
As I think about the changes of my life
I think about what I left behind
I long for the gentle caress of my mother
The familiar touch, the sensible life
Home seems so far as I look around
The unwelcome, pale yellow of the walls
The dry bulbs with the dry, white, colourless light
I reach out and switch it off
With my cold bed and nothing to calm my nerves
On the verge of breaking down, I pray a silent prayer
The dark room plays tricks on my eyes
I cringe away and hide in my blanket
Its dark and its silent
Its almost as if its holding me down
I realise that I miss the comfort of my mom’s embrace
I shut my eyes and hold myself tight
I think of home, I think of light!
Happy Independence Day!!!
On 15th August, 1947, India was free from the hold of The British rule. A proud moment in the history of our country. The Tricolour Indian Flag, Our National Anthem. These are the jewels we carry in our hearts. No one has forgotten the lives that were slain for the sake of freedom of our country.
The patriotism in the heart of an Indian, the love for one’s countrymen, the vigour and unity is unique.
Since then, we have made progress given we have had only 68 years being free.
I learned my National Anthem when I was a child and I remember singing it with full concentration and standing in attention. It used to and still gives me the chills as I sing it for it makes me feel the love of my country flowing in the words which Mr. Rabindranath Tagore wrote.
We once had to make the Tricolour Flag in the School’s Annual Day and I was so proud to be a part of it. I was made to stand in the white strip.
Our National Anthem : Jana Gana Mana
Our National Song : Vande Mataram
Our National Motto : Satya Mev Jayate
Happy birthday Pami Khala!
Pami Khala was my mother’s elder sister. She was one of the best people I knew. She was as amazing as a person could be. She loved us equally and made us feel special. I have so many memories of her. I still remember her cute hands, her nose ring and the way she used to call her daughter. But as fate had it, she died of cancer in 2008.
Yes, I miss her. We all miss her. My family feels incomplete without her. She was one of the building blocks of our family. Her loss resonated throughout our family and relations. Her death was a tragedy for all those who personally knew her.
Today is her birthday. I still remember her last birthday with us. It was the last get together we had with her. Soon after her birthday in 2008, she was diagnosed with Cancer and within a month, she died.
It is an impossible truth for us. Her death was a blow to our family.
Her kind heart and soul was so valuable and we lost her to cancer.
No, I will not write any poetic lines for her. My grief on her death is far too great to think of some lines.
I still love her. I still miss her even after all these years. Her death left a hole, a gaping hole that still wont stop hurting.
On every occasion, she is being missed. And she will be missed until we live in this world carrying her memories with us. Forever.
Okay. So I like my college library. I finally took the courage to stand in the ever lasting line and I finally made my library card!
That is me standing in the line.
After that I visited the library and I was lost in the smell of the books. The library is cool.
So all in all a very productive day.
Since I made sure that everyone out there knew how lonely I was this Eid, it is only fair that I tell you all how my day went so far.
I woke up late. I had a glass of milk for breakfast ( something that has newr happened in the 19 years of my existence on Eid ). I was feeling very low but soon everyone called me to wish me so I did not feel left out.
Then I went out for lunch. On the way I saw a bookstore and I bought my favourite book ( i wont mention which one. See for yourself 😂 ) and spent my lunch money on it.
Then I went to a cafe and had coffee ( I am not fond of coffee!) while I read my precious book. I sat there for an hour or two. Alone.
All in all, I made the best of this day in my own limits.
My dear blog,
Its Eid tomorrow. I am so far from home and family. It makes me sad to think that I wont be with them on Eid. I never celebrated Eid alone. How can I celebrate Eid alone? The very concept of Eid is to come together and share happiness after fasting for a month!
Its kind of weird. Its silly too that I am thinking so much on this.
I was always a loner but its Eid! And I am alone!
I guess there is no Eid for me this year. 😐
Yours forever alone,
To get up each morning, to go through the mundane days
To believe that the day is bright, to feel the excitement as it goes by
To greet, with a warmth in your voice
To meet and to grasp the talks you have
To smile and laugh and go on still
No matter the wounds inflicted within
To go on, to go on beyond limits
To endure each day, to welcome each tormenting night
Where do you find the will?
To make up your mind, to find a direction.
To decide your path, to follow it true
To drown and rise from your disturbing thoughts
To reach all levels of turmoil,
Yet never show a sign of weakness
To grope in the dark and yet lead the way of others lost
To sink yourself for others to float
To give yourself up for others to find
To be so sacrificing, so elite in this age
Where do you find the will?