I have no words to describe my feelings. I am just glad and proud of my blog.
My blog is my support through the tough times.
Phew. My first holiday at home.
And its not good at all.
So many issues. So many problems.
Home isn’t what I left it as two months ago. Its something entirely different.
I dont recognise it.
I feel sad that my uncle is not well.
He is very important to me.
And my thoughts are so jumbled that I cannot form them properly into sentences.
Its melancholic. The atmosphere is sad.
And I am sad.
No need to whine about the problems.
Lets just hope the world makes sense again.
Lets hope that what we lost is recovered. Most of it, if not all.
Lets hope that wherever we go, we stay together.
Lets hope that we all stay healthy and no ailments plague us.
Lets hope that life doesn’t break my back this time.
Lets hope that my fate is kind to me At least this once.
Lets hope that all this doesn’t weigh me down and cripple me.
Lets hope we survive the blows.
Lets hope that our hope never gives way.
Now that I had finally found my peace in the dark realms of life
In the lush green of the trees, in the full bloom of the flowers
Now that summer had made me stable, made me feel comfortable
The wind and the blades of grass, the sharp sunlight and the coolness of the night
Had made me hopeful, had made me serene
I realised as I finally was again able to sleep
But the summer and the gayness, the trees and the direction of the winds
Is changing its course, is turning away from me
The dried tears are falling again, the healing wounds are fresh again
The green leaves and the green grass, all the joy and cheer seems to pass
As the brown leaves fall in my lawn, one by one and many at a time
The winds blow and carry them up to my doorstep, I sigh and sweep them off
I try to keep them at bay, for summer seems to be in a haste
For it seems that we are in for an early Autumn this year
How far are you willing to bend to fate, to destiny? How much longer will the thread of your life to hold? How much are you willing to sacrifice your soul for something as petty as hope?
Its going to break under strain and when it does, I would like to be there to witness such atrocity. I would want to revel in the destruction of those who keep faith. Not that I care about these people. Just looking at the foolish people who deceive themselves throughout their lives and die in the end with nothing but upturned soil called grave as a mark that they once existed. Even that gives way after a few decades.
What is colour to a dying man? What meaning does the blue of the sky hold for a person who is to be engulfed forever in the dark? Nothing whatsoever. He is downtrodden and dejected. He holds nothing but a sad melancholy in his dying heart and will take that heart with its memories to his grave.
It seems like the light is gone
Leaving me trembling in the dark
Senses are dulled, even my breathing has slowed
I cant seem to shout out, to gain some weight of reality
It all seems like a dream to me
A dark pit, going down and leading to melancholy
No whispers, no silhouettes, no shadows
Only a dark sense of existence, I hold
I suffer in this dreadful state, I am trapped in my web of memories
Rushing back to me, coming forth with fresh pain and wounds unhealed
I lay in the dark, I listen to my heart
I long for things to go back to normal
For this storm must pass me by without wreaking havoc
Else My sand castle would fall, and the waves would carry me away.
I hear the sound, an inkling in the dark
Imminent danger, lurking somewhere my eyes cannot reach
The gates are closed, the walls stand tall
Is it me or I see cracks, the signs that it is all giving way
Giving way to a burden, more than what my body can bear
I hold that thought, I hold myself high
The torment I undergo, Just before the walls fall
I brace myself, I feel the sudden rush
No doubt I am scared, scared of the spirit the flood carries
Like a giant serpent, it makes its way through my gardens of peace
Trampling the flowers of my solace, leaving them nothing less than the weed like menace
Gobbling up the wooden floors of my stability, as I watch the ground disappear underneath me
My heart throbs as it sweeps up everything in its path
Leaving destruction in its wake, declaring an open war
The flood, as it breaks me down, as it tears me apart from what I knew was mine
The flood as it drives me away from what is mine, forcing me to retreat
The flood as it makes me weak, makes me bow down to my vulnerability
The flood as it is, a monstrous and destructive tyrant
Its been more than a month now and I am pretty much adjusted in my college. I did make new friends, got selected in a cool society for debating and met the most amazing people. Lately, my schedule has been so crazy that I had little time for anything else. But since its a saturday night, I have some time at my disposal and I turn to my dear blog.
I remembered, when I shifted to my college campus, mom was so reluctant to leave me alone. It felt like we were back to the time when it was my first day in kindergarten and mom had to leave me for the first time in a room full of children as old as me and a stranger who was supposedly my teacher. I felt an odd sense of loss when mom left but I did not give it a thought. Today I remembered her face as she looked at me when she was leaving. It brings a smile on my face, thinking that mothers are such fascinating creatures ever!
Now, my friends are as weird as I am. I got lucky finding a bunch of people who are just like me.
These are the people I am honoured to call my friends. Each one is as unique as the colours of the rainbow. Every day is an adventure with these guys. There is a guy among them whose expression is a little weird but thats just his style. *wink*
Also, my classes are fun. After the exhausting study of science, English literature is actually a relief to my poor nerves. ;)
Yup, that is me. Please dont Underestimate Me.
Now You might think that I said too much in a post that has been labelled as “What Can I Say?” but you see thats the charm of it all.
Goodnight, Dear readers!